idem_. I am the same. I was once so mad to bustle
abroad, and seek about for preferment, tire myself, and trouble all my
friends, _sed nihil labor tantus profecit nam dum alios amicorum mors
avocat, aliis ignotus sum, his invisus, alii large promittunt, intercedunt
illi mecum soliciti, hi vana spe lactant; dum alios ambio, hos capto, illis
innotesco, aetas perit, anni defluunt, amici fatigantur, ego deferor, et
jam, mundi taesus, humanaeque satur infidelitatis acquiesco_. [3948]And so
I say still; although I may not deny, but that I have had some [3949]
bountiful patrons, and noble benefactors, _ne sim interim ingratus_, and I
do thankfully acknowledge it, I have received some kindness, _quod Deus
illis beneficium rependat, si non pro votis, fortasse pro meritis_, more
peradventure than I deserve, though not to my desire, more of them than I
did expect, yet not of others to my desert; neither am I ambitious or
covetous, for this while, or a Suffenus to myself; what I have said,
without prejudice or alteration shall stand. And now as a mired horse that
struggles at first with all his might and main to get out, but when he sees
no remedy, that his beating will not serve, lies still, I have laboured in
vain, rest satisfied, and if I may usurp that of [3950]Prudentius,

"Inveni portum; spes et fortuna valete,
Nil mihi vobiscum, ludite nunc alios."

"Mine haven's found, fortune and hope adieu,
Mock others now, for I have done with you."

MEMB. VII.
_Against Repulse, Abuses, Injuries, Contempts, Disgraces, Contumelies,
Slanders, Scoffs, &c._

I may not yet conclude, think to appease passions, or quiet the mind, till
such time as I have likewise removed some other of their more eminent and
ordinary causes, which produce so grievous tortures and discontents: to
divert all, I cannot hope; to point alone at some few of the chiefest, is
that which I aim at.

_Repulse_.] Repulse and disgrace are two main causes of discontent, but to
an understanding man not so hardly to be taken. Caesar himself hath been
denied, [3951]and when two stand equal in fortune, birth, and all other
qualities alike, one of necessity must lose. Why shouldst thou take it so
grievously? It hath a familiar thing for thee thyself to deny others. If
every man might have what he would, we should all be deified, emperors,
kings, princes; if whatsoever vain hope suggests, insatiable appetite
affects, our preposterous judgment th