G OF HEARTS. What is this? What is this? The Queen faints! A cup! a
cup!

QUEEN OF DIAMONDS, QUEEN OF CLUBS, QUEEN OF SPADES (_rising and rushing
to the QUEEN OF HEARTS' seat. They pat her hands and fan her_). Yes, a
cup, a cup!

[_The three KNAVES rush out, R., tumbling over one another and
shouting "Water, water!" The KNAVES return, one at a time, bearing
glasses of water, but they are met each time by the KING OF
SPADES, who takes the glass, goes half-way to the QUEEN OF HEARTS,
and then, in his excitement, drinks the water himself. This
"business" can be carried on while the ensuing dialogue is being
spoken._]

QUEEN OF HEARTS (_recovering herself_). Nay, nay, trouble not. I am
myself again. It was merely the Joker.

[_The three QUEENS resume their seats._]

KING OF HEARTS (_angrily_). The Joker?

QUEEN OF HEARTS. Ay, he spake in my ear, and said--

KING OF HEARTS (_threatening the JOKER_). What, Sir Joker! Hast thou
dared to frighten or disturb the Queen?

QUEEN OF HEARTS (_expostulating_). Nay, nay, the Joker is good! Good Sir
Joker, tell the King. Tell them all, that they may know!

[Illustration: "WHAT IS THIS MYSTERY?"]

KING OF HEARTS (_sternly_). Come, Sir Joker, what is this mystery?

JOKER. There is no mystery, my lord. It is all but too plain. Her
Majesty the Queen, as you know, did fashion eight large fire-crackers of
fine red paper, the which were placed upon the board for the banquet. I
went to seek a fan for her Majesty of Spades, and in passing the banquet
hall curiosity did impel me to look in upon the tables. The
fire-crackers are not there, my liege. They have been purloined. They
have been stolen.

[_Great excitement. The KINGS and QUEENS talk and gesticulate with
one another._]

KING OF HEARTS. What? The fire-crackers are stolen?

JOKER. Ay, my lord, stolen.

KING OF SPADES. And will there be no fireworks after the feast?

KING OF HEARTS. And the thief?

JOKER. It is but left for us to guess.

KING OF HEARTS. And thou hast suspicion?

JOKER. True, my lord, I have.

KING OF HEARTS. Name him, Sir Joker.

ALL. Ay, name him--name him!

JOKER. Nay, nay, my liege. 'Twere unjust falsely to accuse--

KING OF HEARTS. Name him, Sir Joker!

ALL. Ay, name him!

JOKER. My lord--

KING OF HEARTS. Name him. I command thee!

JOKER. Hath no man stolen before?

KING OF HEARTS. Thou meanest--

JOKER. The Knave of Hearts.

AL