SPADES sits on the bench._]

QUEEN OF HEARTS. There, now, rest you easily, for there is small haste
for the feast.

KING OF SPADES (_still mopping his face and puffing_). I am much
relieved that we were not late on the banquet, King of Hearts. The
banquet should have waited on you, cousin.

KING OF SPADES (_pacing about the stage, nervously fanning himself;
occasionally he stumbles and falls_). Ay, but I might not so well have
waited on the banquet.

QUEEN OF SPADES. True, he hungers mightily.

[_Fans herself vigorously with her handkerchief._]

QUEEN OF HEARTS (_to JOKER_). Sir Joker, the Queen of Spades suffereth
of her exertions. I beg of you seek a fan.

[_JOKER bows, and exit R._]

QUEEN OF CLUBS (_aside to QUEEN OF DIAMONDS_). I marvel at the rapacity
of some folk.

QUEEN OF DIAMONDS. Verily one might think that there lacked meat and
cooks and scullions in the land of Spades.

QUEEN OF CLUBS. Nay, but I dare say they be short two scullions at the
present hour. [_They laugh._]

QUEEN OF HEARTS (_to QUEEN OF DIAMONDS_). What say you?

QUEEN OF CLUBS. I was saying that if haste might always so trim our
cheeks with color as that which now blooms upon the fair face of our
cousin of Spades, it were worth the discomfort of so great an energy.

[_Enter JOKER, R. He presents fan to QUEEN OF SPADES, who fans
herself boisterously._]

JOKER. Would I were a fan, that even my whispers might be of such
grateful reception to a lady's ear!

QUEEN OF SPADES. Not my ear, Sir Joker, not my ear. It is my nose that
reddens from my efforts.

KING OF SPADES (_wiping his brow and neck with his handkerchief_). And
as to me, it is my neck. 'Tis the pity of being stout.

JOKER. The neck, Sir King? Aha, but I warrant that even if it be moist
without, it is dry within.

KING OF SPADES (_with asperity_). Ay, marry, fool; but not so dry as thy
wit.

KING OF HEARTS. Come, come, cousin, heed him not. (_The JOKER moves over
to the throne of the QUEEN OF HEARTS, and enters into earnest
conversation with her._) It pleases me to hear you say you bring a good
appetite to the feast.

KING OF SPADES. Verily I feel as though I were one vast incarnation of
appetite.

KING OF HEARTS. All the more honor will you do us, and we shall ever
recall this Fourth of July as one that pleased you. And the good lady of
Spades, has she too--

QUEEN OF HEARTS (_screams_). Ah, me! Ah, lackaday, lackaday! [_Faints._]

KIN