summer thou didst steal the Queen's tarts, and now
thou takest the fire-crackers. Thou shalt pay for it with thine head!
Thou shall be blown up to-night upon a monster pile of fireworks.

KNAVE OF HEARTS. Mercy, my lord--mercy! Let me explain.

KING OF HEARTS (_to the other KNAVES_). Remove him.

[_The KNAVE OF HEARTS is dragged out, L._]

QUEEN OF DIAMONDS. And did he steal once before?

KING OF HEARTS. That he did, and was therefore severely punished. I
myself did beat him full sore.

KING OF SPADES (_slapping KING OF HEARTS on the back_). Do it again,
cousin--do it again!

KING OF HEARTS (_approvingly_). That shall I! Thou speakest well. I beg
your patience, ladies; but I will beat this Knave before he dies.

[_Exit KING, L., rolling up his sleeves._]

KING OF SPADES (_to QUEEN OF SPADES_). 'Tis fortunate he did but take
the fire-crackers. I should have grieved surely had they been tarts; for
tarts one may eat, but fire-crackers they be somewhat indigestible, I
fear.

QUEEN OF CLUBS. I had not heard of this previous theft.

QUEEN OF HEARTS. It was similar to this, fair cousin. And the Joker hath
likewise rhymed upon it.

QUEEN OF CLUBS. Indeed. And may we hear the verse, Sir Joker?

JOKER. It is a pleasure to sing it. [_Sings_]

"The Queen of Hearts
She baked some tarts
All on a summer's day--"

[_Sounds of beating without, and loud cries by the KNAVE OF HEARTS
of "Ow!" "Ow!" "Mercy, my lord!" "Hold!" "Hear me!"_]

QUEEN OF SPADES. 'Tis evident the punishment hath begun.

QUEEN OF CLUBS. Oh, the poor Knave! the poor Knave!

[_More sounds of beating and more cries. The KING OF SPADES
becomes very much excited._]

KING OF SPADES (_shaking his fist in the direction of the cries_). Have
at him, good cousin of Hearts, have at him! Ah, but those are lusty
blows! By my halidame, I would fain witness that controversy! [_Slaps
his knee._]

JOKER. A most one-sided controversy, my lord.

KING OF SPADES. Nay, but I warrant the King doth lay it on both sides.
[_More beating and cries._]

JOKER. Ay, from the sounds, he doth lay it on. But, doubtless, it will
whet his appetite.

KING OF SPADES. His appetite? Now, by St. Dagobert, I have already an
appetite as I had beaten an hundred knaves!

JOKER. Then will it also be a one-sided controversy when you meet the
banquet board.

KING OF SPADES. I would fain go out and beat the Knave for causing this
delay. (_Sou