aduates and undergraduates of the College, he has decided to be known
in future as the Reverend Peter Spooner, as a tribute to the Kinquering
Cong of Serbia.

Mr. WILLIAM (WULLIE) PARK, the famous professional golfer, has decided
to assume the praenomen of Pinkstone (after Sir JOHN DENTON PINKSTONE
FRENCH), and is already known amongst his intimates as "Pinkie."

Mr. WILLIAM LE QUEUX has by a special deed poll assumed the title of
George Albert Nicolas Victor-Emmanuel Raymond Woodrow Le Queux, but for
literary purposes will briefly sign himself "Alb."

Mr. WILLIAM DE MORGAN, the famous novelist, as the son of AUGUSTUS DE
MORGAN, has happily hit on the idea of renaming himself Marcellus de
Morgan. But he is anxious to have it clearly understood that this does
not involve him in any claim to the authorship of _Marcella_.

A communication has been received by the Editor of _The Spiritualist_
from WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE, announcing his unalterable resolve to change
his Christian name because of the posthumous discredit attached to it by
the KAISER. Asked what he proposed to substitute for it, the Bard
created a prodigious sensation by announcing that he thought Francis
would do as well as anything else.

Sir WILLIAM JOB COLLINS, equally renowned in the spheres of politics and
medicine, has promptly recognised the impossibility of continuing to
wear a name which has been indelibly tarnished by the arch-disturber of
Europe's peace. He has accordingly elected to replace his first two
names by the ingenious and harmonious collocation of Thomas Habakkuk.

Mr. HAROLD BEGBIE writes to explain that, though his first name is not
William, it has painful historical associations with the success of a
former William. He therefore wishes it to be known that he will sign all
his articles, interviews and poems with the name Oliver Lodge David
Lloyd George Begbie, as an act of homage to the two great men who have
chiefly inspired him in his journalistic and literary career.

* * * * *

Copy of letter to teacher:--

"Dear Sir, will you please give my daughter a dinner, as she has no
father and I have no means of getting her one, and oblodge."

* * * * *

THE WATCH DOGS.

V.

DEAR CHARLES,--You must forgive my writing this letter with a fountain
pen, but to do otherwise would be an act of ingratitude to my servant,
Private J. B. COX. I told him this morning that