ood, and I hope that
the writer will give us more from his able pen.--COLONIAL."

* * * * *

Illustration: GIVING THE SHOW AWAY.

GERMAN PRESS BUREAU PHOTOGRAPHER. "COSTUME PERFECT, SIRE--ACCESSORIES
ADMIRABLE; BUT, IN VIEW OF ALL THESE 'VICTORIES,' DARE WE SUGGEST THAT
THE _EXPRESSION_ MIGHT BE JUST A TOUCH MORE _JUBILANT_?"

* * * * *

Illustration: _Public-house Diplomatist_ (_to second ditto, with whom
he has been discussing the ultimate terms of peace at Berlin_). "I
SHOULDN'T BE TOO 'ARD ON 'EM. I'D LEAVE 'EM A BIT OF THE RHINE TO SING
ABAHT!"

* * * * *

THINGS THAT DO NOT MATTER.

That section of the public that has felt, while anxiously waiting for
definite news of our forces in France, that the communications from "an
eye-witness present with General Headquarters" are better than nothing,
has probably wondered at the recent paucity of despatches from this
descriptive writer. Is it possible that the following has strayed into
our hands from its proper destination?

A soft wind blew gently from the south-east, and before it the fleecy
clouds passed dreamily above the poplar trees. All was quiet; not even
an old public-school boy was washing his face. Then, gently but firmly,
the "boom, boom" of the guns assailed the ear, telling of battle not far
distant.

One's fountain-pen becomes quickly clogged amid the conditions of
warfare, for the dust blows freely over the plains across which the
troops have marched. For comfort in writing there is nothing like an
indelible pencil, and paper whose surface is slightly rough. The
quantity of ink carried among the stores of a modern army is negligible.
And I believe it is a fact that in the whole of the equipment of the
British Forces in France there is not a single roll-top desk!

Talking of dust, I saw last evening a sight which must have appeared
curious to one not acquainted with war. A young Professor of Mathematics
connected with one of our great Universities passed me with a smut on
his nose. Yet in times of peace he is one of those men who seldom leave
home in the morning without carefully brushing their clothes. It should
be borne in mind by the reader that the conditions of the battlefield of
modern times have little in common with those of life in our University
towns.

On the morning of the 1st our cavalry were busy with their horses, while
the artill