la-Chapelle) ordered the Germans to
concentrate their attention on the "treacherous English." We have
received several indignant protests from Scotland about the use of the
word "English" in place of "British."

* * * * *

Illustration: HOW THE CUBIST, BY A MERE ALTERATION OF TITLES, ACHIEVED
A READY SALE OF UNMARKETABLE PICTURES.

* * * * *

AT THE "PLOUGH AND HORSES."

"What's this we 'ear, Bill? Pleeceman been plaguin' of you to 'list,
that it?"

"Pleeceman, 'e says to me, 'You 'aven't a wife and you 'aven't a child,
nor you 'aven't no old mother dependin' on you....'"

"Pleeceman 'e did stop you then?"

"Pleeceman's a sight too busy sometimes."

"Thinks this new army depends on 'im and 'im alone."

"Took all the trouble to come after me, 'e did."

"Matter of three-quarter-of-a-mile?"

"All of that."

"Must 'ave felt yourself a bit important like."

"That's right. Uphill all the way to our place, it is, an' Pleeceman 'e
fair lost 'is wind. Pleeceman 'e look very fierce--'tis the uniform as
does it, you don't deceive me. Pleeceman 'e says, 'That's right, my fine
fellow; you sit at 'ome in your easy-chair,' 'e says, 'snoring o' nights
on your feather bed, while the brave chaps as is gone to the front lie
on planks o' wood an' eat their soup without so much as a spoon, for the
sake o' them who won't bestir theirselves though the trumpet calls.'"

"Pleeceman seems to think our friend 'ere's mighty particular."

"That's 'is idea o' bein' sarcastic like. Pleeceman'll play that game
once too often for the good o' 'is 'ealth."

"Pleeceman, I reckon, would 'ave been real proud if 'e could 'ave got a
fine young chap like you to fight for KING GEORGE."

"Pleeceman 'e says to me--when 'e come up to our place all 'urry-scurry
to see after me goin' forth again the enemy--'e says, 'A man as _is_ a
man 'as got to put 'is 'and to the plough now an' save 'is country,
while yet there is time.'"

"Pleeceman 'e talks wild when 'e's excited."

"It's takin' your 'and off of the plough, ain't it now?"

"Seems so to me--God, 'e knows."

"Pleeceman 'e says to me, 'You go to swell the number as is fightin' for
our England, an' honours'll be showered on you as thick as wapses round
a plum-tree in August,' 'e says; 'crosses an' stars an' 'alf the
alphabet after your name.'"

"Pleeceman 'e can go it--'istory books ain't in it with 'is
'magination."

"Gen