his position in Roman politics, and of the view that the Optimates
would take of the necessity of retaining him, that to see himself
treated like a fraudulent or unsuccessful provincial governor, of no
importance to anyone but himself, was a bitter blow to his self-esteem.
The actual loss was immense. His only means were now the amount of money
he had been able to take with him, or was able to borrow. All was gone
except such property as his wife retained in her own right. He was a
dependent upon her, instead of being her support and the master of his
own household. The services of freedmen--readily rendered when he was
prosperous--would now be a matter of favour and personal attachment,
which was not always sufficient to retain them. The "life and light" of
the city, in which no man ever took a more eager interest and delight,
were closed to him. He was cut off from his family, and from familiar
intercourse with friends, on both of which he was much dependent for
personal happiness. Lastly, wherever he lived, he lived, as it were, on
sufferance, no longer an object of respect as a statesman, or the source
of help to others by his eloquence. But, disagreeable as all this was to
a man of Cicero's sensitive vanity, there was something still worse.
Even in towns which were the legal distance from Italy he could not
safely stay, if they were within the jurisdiction of one of his personal
enemies, or contained other exiles, who owed him an ill turn. He was
protected by no law, and more than one instance of such a man's falling
a victim to an enemy's dagger is recorded. Cicero's first idea was to go
to Malta: but Malta was for some purposes in the jurisdiction of the
governor of Sicily, and the governor of Sicily (C. Vergilius[11])
objected to his passing through Sicily or staying at Malta. We have no
reason for supposing Vergilius personally hostile to Cicero, but he may
have thought that Cicero's services to the Sicilians in the case of
Verres would have called out some expression of feeling on their part in
his favour, which would have been awkward for a Roman governor. Cicero
therefore crossed to Epirus, and travelled down the Egnatian road to
Thessalonica. This was the official capital of the province of
Macedonia, and the quaestor in Macedonia, Gnaeus Plancius, met Cicero at
Dyrrachium, invited him to fix his residence there with him, and
accompanied him on his journey. Here he stayed till November in a state
of anxiety