l be the
first to break down and say "Thank you."

***

The Press reports the case of a young lady who received slight injuries
from a slab of ceiling which fell on her head whilst she was asleep in
bed, but was saved from further damage by the thickness of her hair.
This should act as a warning to those ladies who adopt the silly habit
of removing their tresses on retiring for the night.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Hospital Orderly (taking particulars of new patient_).
"NAME, SIR?"

_Patient_. "SIR BRUCE BLAZEAWAY."

_Hospital Orderly_. "RANK?"

_Patient_. "LIEUTENANT-GENERAL."

_Hospital Orderly_. "BATTALION?"]

* * * * *

TO SIGN OR NOT TO SIGN?

As Count BROCKDORFF-RANTZAU puts it, quoting from his German translation
of _Hamlet: "Sein oder nicht sein, dass ist hier die Frage_."

* * * * *

"The recommendations of the Jerram Committee came before a
conference between a representative body of lower deck ratings
and members of Parliament who sit for naval constituencies. The
veterinary chief petty officer presided."--_Sunday Paper_.

The rank is new to us; but he must be just the man to look after the
interests of our sea-dogs.

* * * * *

From the "Transactions" of a photographic society:--

"Mr. ---- stated that as Architectural Photography covered a large
and varied field he purposed to confine his remarks to the line of
work most familiar to him, namely, The Interiors of some of the
great English Ministers."

Now at last we shall know if the Government's heart is in the right
place.

* * * * *

TO ROBERT OF THE FORCE.

Since first you loomed upon my infant ken
My firm belief has ever been, and still it is,
That you are fashioned not as other men
(Subject, at best, to mortal disabilities),
But come of more than human kin,
Immune, or practically so, from sin.

Godlike the poise that to your bearing lends
The aspect of a tower that never totters;
There's a divinity hath shaped your ends
(Rough-hewn, perhaps--especially your trotters);
Your ample chest, your generous girth
Have no precise similitude on earth.

I cannot picture you (though I have tried)
Wearing a bowler hat and tweed apparel,
Or craving sustenance for your inside
Drawn either from th