ha canna eat," and an adaptation of
"Be sooople, Davie, in things immaterial," when my parent came
out to the lawn, flushed and excited, with his last three hairs
triumphantly erect, and brandished a document in my face.

It was an ode, Mr. Punch--an ode five (foolscap) pages long, written
in Greek!

I gave him best at once, and then very gently suggested that his
composition might not in its present unmitigated form be _quite_
suited to your tastes and requirements.

I shall spare you the details of the ensuing controversy, but I want
you to know that I have spared you much else, and in so doing have
forfeited not only my father's affection but a projected advance on
my next quarter-but-three's dress allowance.

I hope you need no further proof of my devotion.

Yours, etc.,

A DAUGHTER OF THE MANSE.

P.S.--I was forgetting to say that you will find the bit about the
ministers near the bottom of the third column of the tenth page of
Thursday's _Scotsman_. Perhaps you can think of a funny treatment
yourself.

* * * * *

SONGS OF SIMLA.

III.--THE FURRIER.

Akbar the furrier squats on the floor
Sucking an Eastern pipe,
Thumbing the lakhs that he's made of yore,
Lakhs which creep to the long-dreamed crore
In a ledger of Western type.

And all around him the wild beasts sway,
Cured of their mortal ills--
Flying squirrels from Sikkim way,
Silver foxes that used to play
Up on the Kashmir hills.

On the shelf of a cupboard a polecat lies
Laughing between his paws,
And there's more than a hint of amused surprise
In the gape of the lynx, in the marten's eyes,
In the poise of the grey wolf's claws.

And, should you enter old Akbar's lair
And hear what he wants for his skins,
You will know why the little red squirrels stare,
Why the Bengal tiger gasps for air
And the gaunt snow-leopard grins.

J.M.S.

* * * * *

The Telephone Girl's motto: _Nulla linea sine die_--"Number engaged;
ring again and again, please."

* * * * *

ALAS! POOR PANTHER.

I went to the Derby fully intending to back the favourite--The Panther.

But the cross-currents immediately set in--as they always do.

I began by making the mistake of reading the forecasts of all the
experts--the gallant Captains a