er. No
misfortune can be greater to him than to offend against his civility;
and in a manner that seems good to them, for doubtless they are so
persuaded by the devil. It is also their custom, when there is company,
for all to go to the kitchen and leave the master alone. [209]

59. Their stomachs are like sackbuts, with systole and diastole;
[210] and thus they contract and expand them in a wonderful manner. For
although they observe parsimony in their own houses, it is a matter for
which to praise God to see them gorge themselves and gulp down things
at the expense of the Spaniards, as Quevedo said there of Galalon:
"Galalon, who eats but little at home, overloads his goodly paunch
at another's expense." [211]

60. But say to them, Buen provecho; [212] for usually these losses
are well retrieved when they row. They are horrifying and frightful
in venting their anger, both against one another, and against the
father ministers; and there would be so much to say in this that it
would never be finished. [213] They are able to make their complaints
in such a manner and to such purpose that they persuade those who
know most about their falsity and trickery that they are telling the
truth. I remember that an alcalde of experience [214] was heard to
say, when the Indians came to him with complaints: Audivi auditionem
tuam, et timui. [215] There are usually Indians, both men and women,
in the suburbs of Manila, who hire out as mourners in the manner of
the mourners of the Hebrews, and such as were in style in Castilla
in the time of the Cid. The authors of the quarrel go first into
the house of some lawyer [216] well known for his cleverness, who is
one of those called in law rabulas, [217] who do not know which is
their right hand. These men keep books of formulas and of petitions
directed against all the human race; for example, in this form, "suit
against alcalde;" and then follow all the crimes and excesses that
can be committed by alcaldes. [218] The same thing is true of suits
against ministers and curas, and in them is enclosed all possibility
of irregular conduct. Then the said "smith of calumny," [219] as the
Italian says, takes the names of the plaintiffs and defendants, and
a few facts; and then puts it all in the book from beginning to end
[de pe a pa], without omitting one iota. And this is not to speak
uncertainly; for in the archives of the court will be found the
chart which was discovered in the possession o