eled George--Living
dictaphone employed--Shows him who is mistress of the house--Snaps
fingers in Prince George's face--Debate about titles--"A sexless
thing of a husband"--Conference between lover and husband--Grand
Duke doesn't object to his wife's lover, but lover objects to "his
paramour being married."

DRESDEN, _April 15, 1896_.

Melita conducted herself at the funeral and in our palace as
unconcernedly as if she and George were fast friends. She smiled every
time she saw him, and he cut her dead to his heart's content. During the
three days' stay of the Hesses, I had many a good talk and many a good
laugh with Melita, and now I got a true and unabridged record of what
happened at Darmstadt during George's meddling visit there.

The Grand-duchess, who can be as catty as they make 'em, had her
secretary sit behind a screen to take stenographic notes.

Saxon kings and princes always roar and bellow when, in conversation or
otherwise, things go against their "all-highest" grain. As soon as
George felt that he was losing ground, he began to bark and yell,
whereupon Melita interrupted him by saying, "I beg you to take notice
that you are in _my_ house."

George grew so red in the face, Melita hoped for an apoplectic fit. But
after a few seconds he managed to blurt out: "It's your husband's
house."

"While I am Grand-duchess of Hesse it's my house, too. Moreover, this is
my room and I forbid you to play the ruffian here."

Prince George looked at the Grand-duke, but Ernest Ludwig said nothing.

"I am here as the King's representative. I represent the chief of the
Royal House of Saxony."

"A fig for your Royal House of Saxony," said Melita, snapping her
fingers in George's face. "Queen Victoria is my chief of family, and,
that aside, Ludwig and I are sovereigns in Hesse and have no intention
whatever to allow anyone----"

"Anyone?" repeated George aghast. "You refer to me as anyone?"

"In things matrimonial," said Melita, "only husband and wife count; all
others are 'anyone.' You, too."

"She calls me 'you,'" cried George, white with rage, looking helplessly
at Ernest Ludwig. When the latter kept his tongue and temper, George
addressed himself to Melita once more.

"I want you to understand that my title is Royal Highness."

"And I want you to understand that I am Her Royal Highness the
Grand-duchess of Hesse, Royal Princess of Great Britain and Ireland,
Duchess of Saxony," cri