d of honor, as ugly as
the Tisch, and when we are _entre nous_ every second word is: "when
Louise is Queen." They know to a penny what our inheritance from the
King, the Queen and Prince George will amount to and are forever making
plans and specifications how to spend the money for the glory of Saxony
and of our own family.[6]

Mother's scare-crow of a maid of honor had at least sense enough to tell
Lucretia of a few scandals that happened at home, which mother never
intended for my ears.

It seems that papa, some few months ago, suddenly became possessed of
the ambition to become an astronomer. Nothing would do, but he must buy
a heap of instruments and set them up in a distant tower of Salzburg
Castle. And there he spent all his evenings--star-gazing, he gave out.

He seldom reached the nuptial couch before one or two in the
morning,--utterly exhausted by the night's work.

Well, mamma thought he labored too hard, and one forenoon when he had
gone hunting, climbed up many stairs to investigate. Imagine her
surprise when she found, in the astrolatry, a young lady in the act of
getting out of bed, a girl, by the way, whom I used to know.

Mamma had the _mauvais genre_ to report the case to Emperor Francis
Joseph, while papa sought another climate, remaining away until mother
begged him on her bended knees, so to speak, to come home. Nor did she
get satisfaction from Vienna. That great moral teacher, the Emperor,
told her not to make a scare-crow of herself, but on the contrary make
herself pretty and agreeable for, and to, her lord and master. I
understand now why mamma says: "All men stick together like gypsies."

As a matter of fact father's limited resources are considerably affected
by the various alimonies he has to pay to his own mistresses and those
of my brothers. The third born of our boys, only a week ago, made too
free with the _fiancee_ of the pastry-cook, who threatened to kill him.
It cost father several thousand florins to appease the ruffian and
Heinrich Ferdinand renewed acquaintance with mother's boxing
proclivities.

FOOTNOTES:

[Footnote 6: The fortune of the present King of Saxony (Louise's
ex-husband) amounts to 25 million marks ($6,225,000)--no more than many
an American parent paid for his daughter's seedy coronet. It will be
remembered that Gladys Vanderbilt and Anna Gould brought to their
husbands fifteen million dollars each, and the Castellanes and Szechenys
are only nobles of the