o
serve supper to a dog.

Upstairs on the landings men in white aprons were carrying plants in
pots, and building up banks of roses; while higher up still stood Lord
Crossborough himself--the gentleman I had driven from the
Carlton--shouting to them to do this and to do that, smoking a cigar as
long as your arm, and all the time as merry as a two-year-old at a
morning gallop.

As for the young ladies, they had taken off their cloaks, and all wore
pretty gowns, same as they would wear for any party in that part of the
world, and they were standing by his lordship's side, apparently just
as much amused as he was. What astonished me in particular was this
nobleman's affability towards me, for he cried out directly he saw me,
and implored me for heaven's sake to get the padlock off the area gate,
or, says he, "I'm d--d if they won't be cooking the ducks in the
drawing-room."

I was only too ready to oblige him, that goes without saying, though I
had to run round to the garage for a file and a chisel, and when I got
back for the second time, it took me twenty minutes to get off the
padlock, after which they sent me upstairs, as they said, "to help with
the flats." Then I discovered that a play, or something, was to be
given in the drawing-room, the back part of which was full of scenery,
showing a castle on the top of a precipice and a view of the Thames
Embankment just below it, while away in the small library on the other
side of the staircase stood twenty or thirty ballet girls, just come
from one of the West End theatres.

Immediately after they had arrived, a number of fiddlers came tumbling
up the stairs, and the fun began in earnest. A proper gentleman, who
seemed to know what he was talking about, though, to be sure, he did
call all the ladies his "darlings," started to put 'em through their
paces. I saw one of our leading musical ladies coming down the stairs
from the rooms above, and presently a lot of guests arrived from the
hall below, and went into the great drawing-room, where the audience
was to sit. "After all," says I, "this is just his lordship's bit of
fun--he's giving one of those impromptu parties we've heard so much
about, and this play-acting is the surprise of it." You shall see
presently how very wrong I was.

Well, the play went merry enough, as it should have done, seeing it was
performed by people who have to make their living by plays. When it
was over, his lordship gets up and says