ged to you, constable. Tell him how to go, and here's a
sovereign for you."

A policeman doesn't like a sovereign, of course, and this fellow was
just as nasty about it as the others. I suppose he spent the next
quarter of an hour directing me how to go, and when that was done he
saluted his lordship in fine military fashion. To be truthful, I may
say that we went out of Potter's Bar with flying colours, and for the
next ten minutes I drove slowly down dark lanes with corners sharp
enough for copybooks, and hedges so high that a man couldn't feel
himself for the darkness. When we got out of this we came to five
cross-roads, and a big sign-post; and here, I remembered, the policeman
had told me to take the middle road to the left, and that I should find
Five Corners a quarter of a mile further down. So I was just swinging
the big car round when what should happen but that the signal told me
to stop, and, bringing to in a jiffy, I waited for his lordship to
speak.

"Britten," says he, for I had told him my name half a dozen times
already, "Britten, this is very important to me. I'll make it fifteen
pounds if you do the job well. Just drive up to the lodge, and when
the man opens, you say 'His lordship is very late to-night.' After
that, you'll keep to the lower of two roads and come to another lodge.
There, when you wake them up, you will say, 'His lordship is very early
this morning,' and after that, drive away just as hard as the old car
can take you. I'm in the mood to have some fun to-night, and whatever
I do is no responsibility of yours, so don't you be troubled about it,
my lad. I shall exonerate you if there's any tale; but there can't be
one, for surely a man may drive through his own park when he has the
mind to."

I said "Of course he had," for what else could I say? The further I
got into this job the madder it appeared to be. Perhaps just because
of its madness, I determined to see the end of it. After all, I had
been ordered by my mistress to drive this gentleman, and whatever he
might choose to do was no concern of mine. If I tell the whole truth,
and say I thought him a lunatic with whom it would be dangerous to
quarrel, well, there's no harm in that; for how many would have done
different, and where's the blame? Lords go mad like other people, for
all their coronets; and fine times they appear to have in that
condition. I said Lord Crossborough was either daft or had some deep
game goi