e
shopkeeper) of the more serious aspect of such an insult to
Christianity, and such profaning of holy things...."

I hastened to assure the rev. gentleman that Talmage was an
"entertainer," like myself, that I used no words in imitation of him;
merely his eccentric manner and showman's voice. I also hinted that I
always had a number of clergymen in my audiences, and those who had
heard me found nothing whatever objectionable, nor could they detect in
what I did anything touching upon sacred things. This brought a lengthy
rejoinder, from which I quote the following interesting passage:

"The fact that thousands of clergymen have _not_ been deterred by
that announcement from going to the entertainment does not surprise
me. In this age of ever-increasing irreverence, it is my lot to
hear many a profane anecdote told; and the _worst_ offenders in
this line are, I am sorry to say, _Clergymen_."

If this was so--and the Rev. C. L. Dodgson could not possibly exaggerate
any more than "Lewis Carroll" could avoid exaggeration--how much better
it would have been for him to listen to my wordless and harmless
imitation of a public entertainer than to sit in the Common Room and
listen to profane anecdotes from the lips of his fellow ministers of
religion!

To those about to appear on the platform I would give the same advice as
Mr. Punch gave to those about to marry--"Don't." "Lectures," "Readings,"
or whatever they are called, are very little in demand now compared with
twelve years ago. Many of the literary institutes and lecture societies
are either dying from inanition or are content with a course of lectures
of a poor description. This has been brought about by trying to do the
thing on the cheap, and thereby disgusting the subscribers, who are not
going to turn out of their cosy, warm houses on a winter's night to hear
a poor speaker with a dull subject. The subscription lists are therefore
depleted, and the societies cannot afford to engage experienced
lecturers and entertainers.

It is a great mistake to imagine one has only to "write something," and,
provided with a few "slides," a reading-desk, and a glass of water--and
a chairman, mount a platform and read. Of course, an agent can always
"boom" a novice--someone who has travelled, or written a book, or gone
to smash, or become notorious in any way--for a course of "lectures,"
provided there are sufficient chairmen to be found willin