.30 p.m.

SECTION A... _Hors d'Oeuvres_--Kinetic Vacua.

SECTION B... _Puree Pontoise_--Isomeric Naphthalene.
_Consomme a la Princesse_--Hydracid Halogen.

SECTION C... _Boiled Salmon_--Glacial Lepidodendron.
_Fried Smelts_--Horned Dinosaur.

SECTION D... _Kromesky a la Russe_--Androgynous Cones.
_Poulet Saute a la Chasseur_--Chytridian Woronina.

SECTION E... _Braised Fillet of Beef_--Lobengula Lion.
_Roast Saddle of Mutton_--Native Kalahari.

SECTION F... _Grouse_--Statistics of Slaughter.
_Partridge_--Progressive Decimation.

SECTION G... [A]_Savarin a l'Abricot_--Diamagnetic amperes.
_Sicilian Cream_--A New Lubricant.
_Victoria Jelly_--High Carbon Slag.
_Maids of Honour_--Kinetic Leverage.
_Pastry_--Approaching the Elastic Limit.

SECTION H... _Ice Pudding_--Prognathous Brachycephaloid.
_Croute d'Anchois_--Unidentified Origin.
_Dessert_--Prehistoric Jourouks.

H.B. ----, } Jackals.
W. ----, }

[Footnote A: Should the discussion of these Papers interfere with the
transactions of the other Sections, one or more will be taken as
eaten.]

[Illustration: The Pointed Beards]

Somebody has said that an Englishman will find any excuse to give a
dinner, but my experience has been that this is truer of Americans. I
have been the guest of many extraordinary dining clubs, but as the most
unique I select the Pointed Beards of New York. To club and dine
together because one has hair cut in a particular way is the _raison
d'etre_ of the club; there is nothing heroic, nothing artistic or
particularly intellectual. It is not even a club to discuss hirsute
adornments; such a club might be made as interesting as any other,
provided the members were clever.

That most delightful of _litterateurs_, Mr. James Payn, once interested
himself, and with his pen his readers, in that charming way of his, on
the all-important question, "Where do shavers learn their business? Upon
whom do they practise?" After most careful investigation he answers the
question, "The neophytes try their prentice hands upon their fellow
barbers." That may be the rule, but every rule has an exception, and I
happened once to be the unfortunate layman when a budding