Press who had discussed my
personal failings for the benefit of their readers, as several years
older than I really am (all due, no doubt, to my premature baldness). So
I asked for the secret of the American hair-preserving elixir, and my
charming companion assured me that she had really and truly discovered
an infallible composition for producing hair! This she promised to send
to me, and upon my return to England I received the following charming
letter, which I publish for the benefit of all those whose hair, like my
own, is becoming, to quote an American paper, "a little depleted on the
top of the dome of thought." I have not yet tried the remedy, but I
intend to do so, and when I appear again on the American platforms I
shall probably rival Paderewski, who owes a great deal of his success
and fortune to his "thatch."

The following is copyright: "LIKA JOKO HAIR RESTORER."

"MY DEAR _Mr. Furnace_,

"Fearing you would think me lacking in a sense of humor I have
hesitated to send you the receipt you asked for, but, being an
American, I fear it would not be true to my country's principles to
allow such an opportunity for promoting growth to pass unheeded.

Two tablespoonsful alcohol,
Two tablespoonsful flour of sulphur,
Two tablespoonsful castor oil,
One pint boiling water.

"Put in bottle, shake well and allow it to stand three days before
using. Rub well into the scalp every night.

"Here it is, and I trust soon to receive the pen and ink sketch in
proof of its unrivalled success.

"Very sincerely,
"----"
"Brooklyn,
"April 20th, 1892."

I suppose my benefactress, if I disclosed her name, would be worried to
death by the multitudinous proprietors of shiny-surfaced "domes of
thought." Notice she calls me a furnace! Too suggestive of the sulphur!
alcohol!! boiling water!!!

I must confess that it was with some trepidation I accepted an
invitation to a reception of the Twelfth Night Club of New York--a club
for ladies only, which invites one guest, a man, once a month--no other
member of male sex is allowed within the precincts of the club. I
survived. Next day the papers announced the fact under the following
characteristic American headlines:--

TWELFTH NIGHT GIRLS REJOICE.

FURNISS GETS A WARM GREETING.

CARICATURIST