get up and
complain that their names are not included, as they did not hear, or
went out to speak to a friend, or some trivial excuse like that, so they
are counted again. One in particular I noticed and made a sketch of
peeling and eating an apple, and he strolled up afterwards and demanded
to have his name inserted. More delay; then "the gentleman from
Somewhere-else" informs the Speaker that there is not a quorum. "The
gentleman from Bedlam" demands a division taken by tellers, and the
Speaker agrees, and is just appointing the tellers, when "the gentleman
from Obstructianna" calls for "Yeas and Nays," which means, gentle
reader, that the whole of the House of Representatives have to be called
out by name, from Alpha to Omega. Those not wishing to vote smoke or eat
apples. Then some Member comes in and informs the Speaker that he didn't
hear his name when it was called.

In case the reader may think I am exaggerating I append the following
cutting from the "Congressional Record," vol. xxiii., No. 93.:

"Mr. O'NEILL of Pennsylvania. Mr. Speaker, I am paired, but I have
voted in order to make a quorum.

The SPEAKER. There is no quorum.

Mr. HENDERSON of Iowa. Mr. Speaker, when my name was called the
first time I did not hear it, and the second time I was examining
some papers and my name was passed before I could answer.

The SPEAKER. Did the gentleman fail to hear his name?

Mr. HENDERSON of Iowa. I heard it called, but did not answer in
time.

The SPEAKER. The gentleman understands the rule. If the gentleman
states that he was in the Hall of the House and failed to hear his
name, his vote will be recorded.

Mr. HENDERSON of Iowa. I was.

The vote of Mr. HENDERSON of Iowa was recorded.

Mr. PATTERSON of Tennessee. Mr. Speaker, I desire to vote.

The SPEAKER. Was the gentleman in the Hall, and did he fail to hear
his name called?

Mr. PATTERSON of Tennessee. Yes, sir.

The vote of Mr. PATTERSON of Tennessee was recorded.

Mr. DOLLIVER. Mr. Speaker, although paired I have voted to make a
quorum.

Mr. McKEIGHAN. Mr. Speaker, I was in the Hall and heard my name,
but did not vote because I did not understand the measure. If it is
in order I desire now to vote.

The SPEAKER. The Chair can not entertain the gentleman's request
under the rule.

Mr. HUFF. Mr. Speaker, I v