heels
amongst my improvised steps. Then I began to realise what had happened.
I had not understood the mechanism of the arrangements, and under the
impression that I was placing my clothes, &c., on the ledge, I was in
reality dropping them on to the unfortunate occupant of the nether
berth, hence the muffled snoring, and when my forty guinea repeater
descended upon some unprotected portion of his cranium it put the
closure on his dreams in a most abrupt manner.

When you are introduced to an Englishman he invariably invites you to
eat something. "You must come and dine with us quietly at home,
don't-cher-know," or "I must rig up a dinner for you at the club some
night," &c. A Scotchman suggests your drinking something--urges upon you
the claims of the Mountain Dew; a Frenchman wishes at once to show you
something, the Bois de Boulogne or the Arc de Triomphe; a German desires
you to smoke something; an Italian to buy something; and an Australian
to kill something, but an American wants an opinion "right away."

"Waal, sur, what do you think of our gre--e--eat country? What do you
think of this wonderful city? What do you think of the Amurrican gurl?"

This latter is a question which one is asked in the States morning,
noon, and night.

To endeavour to effect a compromise by admitting that she is quite as
charming as the English girl, as pretty--though of course of a
different type--still equally charming, is a waste of time. You will be
met with the commonplace "Get out!" and an added enquiry, "Now don't you
think she's just the most fascinating and lovely creature on this earth,
and by comparison with your English girls ain't she just sweet?"

[Illustration: A WASHINGTON LADY.]

My own tactics were simple--I hedged.

"Well, you see," I replied to a question similar to the above, "I have
met but few as yet of your representative American girls. To be sure, I
have seen your cosmopolitan New York beauty, your Washington diplomat,
and your Chicago daughter of Boom, and so on; but there are yet many
fields of beauty unexplored, and I prefer to withhold my opinion till I
have had an opportunity of judging from further experience. I am quite
prepared to admit, however, that the general impression made upon an
observant Englishman is that American ladies dress better than does the
average Englishwoman; or, at any rate, carry themselves with more grace,
and thus show off their gowns to greater advantage."

"Correct! Tha