ammytoor_.

Then we've conjurors, worblers, phrenologists! One 'ad a go at
_my_ chump.
'E touzled my 'air up tremenjus, and said I'd no hend of a bump
Of somethink he called "Happrybativeness." Feller meant well, I
suppose,
But I didn't quite relish his smile, nor his rummy remarks on my
nose.

When a tall gurl as pooty as paint, and with cheeks like a
blush--rose in bloom,
'As 'er lamps all a-larf on yer face, and a giggle goes round the
whole room,
'Tisn't nice to sit square on a chair, with a feller a-sharpening
'is wit
On your nob, and a rumpling your 'air till it's like a birch-broom
in a fit!

One caper we 'ad, on the lawn, wos a spree and no error, old man.
They call it a "Soap-Bubble Tournyment." Soapsuds, a pipe, and a
fan,
Four six--foot posts stuck in the ground with a tape run
around--them's the "props,"
And lawn-tennis ain't in it for larks. Oh, the ladies did larf,
though tip-tops!

Bit sniffy fust off. "Oh!" sez they, "wot a most _hintellectual_
game!"
But I noticed that them as sneered most wos most anxious to win,
all the same,
The gent he stands slap in the middle, and tries to blow bubbles
like fun,
Wich his pardner fans over the tape; don't it jest keep the girls
on the run!

Every bubble as crosses the tape afore busting counts one to that
pair,
And the pair as counts most wins the prize. They are timed by a
hegg-boiler. There!
It _wos_ all a pantermime, CHARLIE, to see 'ow them gurls scooted
round,
Jest like Japanese jugglers, a-fanning the bubbles, as _would_ 'ug
the ground.

Some gents wos fair frosts at the bizness; one good-'earted trim
little toff
Would blow with the bowl wrong end uppards. His pardner went pink
and flounced off.
He gurgled away like a babe with a pap-bottle, guggle--gug--gug!
And I 'eard 'er a-giving 'im beans as 'e mizzled, much down in the
mug.

Owsomever, it ain't for amusements as 'Arrygate lays itself hout;
So, dear boy, it's for doses and douches; and there it scores
freely, no doubt,
Wy, there's thirty-two Springs in the Bog Field--a place like a
graveyard gone wrong--
Besides Starbeck, the Tewit, and others, all narsty, and most on
'em strong.

Since S