Some absent cat.

A fore-mouse probably they choose,
The culprit's advocate deride,
And fix upon that cat the guilt
Of mouseycide.

At the Refreshment-bars, perchance,
They eat the cakes, and drink the milk,
And in the Robing-room indulge
In "taking silk."

The Judges' sacred Bench itself
From scampering feet is not exempt;
With calmness they commit, of Court,
Frightful "contempt."

Through _Byles on Bills_ they eat their way;
Law "Digests" they at will digest;
Not even _Coke on Littleton_
Sticks on _their_ chests!

Wanted--the stodgiest Law-book out!
The Judges soon _must_ note these facts,
And try a copy of the Ju-
-dicature Acts!

* * * * *

WHY THE FRENCH WON THE BOAT-RACE.

(_ANSWERS SUPPLIED BY AN UNPREJUDICED BRITON._)

[Illustration]

Because the English Eight had had no practice on the Seine.

Because the Londoners had had a fearful passage crossing the Channel.

Because they smashed their boat, and had to have it repaired.

Because the English steering might have been better.

Because the weather was intolerable, and chiefly affected the
Englishmen.

Because the Londoners had no chance of pulling together.

Because the French knew the course better than the English.

Because the race should have been rowed weeks before.

Because the race should not have been rowed for months.

Because the British naturally liked to see the foreigners win.

And last (and least), because the French had by far the better crew!

* * * * *

ECCLESIASTICAL INTELLIGENCE.--The style, title, office, and dignity
of Archbishop of Canterbury, with all appurtenances thereto belonging,
with all emoluments, spiritualities and temporalities appertaining,
have been conferred by letters patent, under supreme authority,
according to Act V. Henricus Noster in such cases made and provided,
on the Rev. Mr. VINCENT, in consequence of the retirement of the Right
Rev. ARTHUR STIRLING from the said office; the duties of which he so
recently and so effectively performed between the hours of ten-thirty
and eleven-fifteen every night for several months at the Theatre Royal
Lyceum. We are in a position to add, that his resignation of this
high and valuable office, has not taken place in consequence of any
question as to the validity or invalidity of orders ("not adm