he'll come to us.

_The Mor. M._ _I_ don't. I can do that sort of thing for myself if I
want to, I hope. [_With a scowl._

_The Y.L._ Well, there's no harm in _hoping_!

_The Serious Comm. T._ (_to his neighbour--one of the Shop-ladies_).
So you come from Birmingham? Dear me, now. I used to be there very
often on business at one time. Do you know the Rev. Mr. PODGER there?
A good old gentleman, he is. I used to attend his Chapel regular--most
improving discourses he used to give us. I am fond of a good Sermon,
aren't you? &c.

[_He imagines--not altogether correctly--that he is producing
an agreeable impression._

_A Young Man in a Frock-coat, Canvas-shoes, and Cloth-cap._
Scarborough? Yes, I've _been_ there--but I don't care about it much.
You have to _dress_ such a lot there, y' know, and I like to come out
just as I am!

[_The conversation, notwithstanding its brilliancy, is
beginning to flag--when the car is boarded by a stalwart
good-looking man, carrying a banjo, and wearing a leather
shoulder-belt with "GREEN the Guide" in brass letters upon
it; the Elderly Gentleman, and most of the Ladies welcome
him with effusion, while the Younger Men appear to resent
his appearance._

_The Mor. M._ (_sotto voce_). If he's going to play that old
instrument of torture, I shall _howl_, that's all!

_Green the Guide_ (_in a deep baritone voice_). Well, Ladies
and Gentlemen, I congratulate you upon having a fine day for our
excursion. My glass went up three feet this morning.

_The Morose Man_ (_aggressively_). Was there whiskey inside it?

_Green the Guide_. No, Sir, it would have gone down suddenly if there
had been. (_The_ Elderly G. _asks for a song_.) I shall be delighted
to entertain you to the best of my ability. What would you like to
have?

_The Mor. M._ None of your songs--give us an imitation--of a deaf and
dumb man.

_Green the G._ (_with perfect good-humour_). I shall be happy to do
the deaf man, Sir,--if you'll help me by doing the dumb. (_The_ Mor.
M. _begins to feel that he had better leave_ GREEN the Guide _alone._)
Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, I'll sing you a good old-fashioned
hunting-song, and I'll ask you to join me in the Chorus.

[_He sings "We'll all go out hunting to-day!"_

_The Mor. M._ (_after the First Verse_). The beggar don't sing so
badly. I will say _that_ for him! (_After the Third._) Capital voice
he has! Rattling good Chorus, too! "Join