d" bonnet must sink the large souled Grecian to a
cinder-wench, make the Frenchwoman a trapes from the Palais Royal, our
fair astronomer a gipsy of Greenwich Park, and the fate-foretelling sybil
a crone crawled from the worst garret of Battle-bridge. The head is
nothing; the bonnet's all. Think you that Mrs. Somerville could have
studied herself into reputation, that the moon and stars would have
condescended to smile upon her, if she had not attended their evening
parties in a handsome turban, duly plumed and jewelled?

Come we now to the next recorded atrocity:--

"There jumped now upon the stage _a red-haired, laughing-hyena
faced, fustian-coated biped_, exclaiming--'My name is Wall! I have
a substantive amendment to move to the resolution now
proposed--('Go off, off! ooh, ooh, ooh! turn him out, out, out!')
We are met in a place where religion is taught (groans). Well,
then, we are met where they "teach the young idea how to
shoot"'--(laughter, groans, and 'Go on, Wall.') Turning to the
young _gents_ on the platform, 'You,' quoth Mr. Wall, 'have not
read history: you clerks at 16s. a week, with your gold chains and
pins.'"

Red hair was first made infamous by JUDAS ISCARIOT; hence the reporter not
only shows the intensity of his Christianity, but his delicate knowledge
of human character, by the fine contempt cast upon the felon locks of the
speaker. Red hair is doubtless the brand of Providence; the mark set upon
guilty man to give note and warning to his unsuspicious fellow-creatures.
Like the scarlet light at the North Foreland, it speaks of shoals, and
sands, and flats. The emperor Commodus, who had all his previous life
rejoiced in flaxen locks, woke, the morning after his first contest in the
arena, a red-haired man! But then, with a fine knowledge of the wholesome
prejudices of the world, he turned the curse upon his head into a beauty;
for he--powdered it with gold-dust. Could Mr. WALL, of the penny theatre,
induce the Master of the Mint to play his _coiffeur_, how would the
reporter fall on his knees and worship the divinity!

Mr. WALL, being of the opposite faction, in addition to the unpowdered
ignominy of his hair, has also the face of a hyena! This fact opens a
question too vast for our one solitary page. We lack at least the
amplitude of a quarto to prove that all men are fashioned, even in the
womb, with features that shall hereafter beautifully harmonise wit