* * * *

ON THE KEY-VIVE.

There can be no doubt as to the _prima facie_ evidence of the hostile
intentions of the destroyed American steamer, with respect to the
disaffected on Navy Island, as, from the acknowledged inquisitiveness of
the gentler sex, there can be no doubt that _Caroline_ would have a
natural predilection for

[Illustration: PRIVATE (H)EERING.]

* * * * *

LAST NEW SAYINGS.

_Come, none of your raillery_; as the stage-coach indignantly said to the
steam-engine.

_That "strain" again_; as the Poor-law Commissioner generously said to the
water-gruel sieve.

_I paid very dear for my whistle_; as the steam-engine emphatically said
to the railroad.

_Peel for ever!_ as the church bells joyously said to Conservative hearts.

* * * * *

There is at present a man in New York whose temper is so exceedingly hot
that he invariably reduces all his shirts to tinder.

* * * * *

PUNCH'S THEATRE.

THE MAID OF HONOUR.

The Adelphi "Correspondent from Paris" has favoured that Theatre with an
adaptation of Scribe's "_Verre d'Eau_," which he has called "The Maid of
Honour."

Everybody must remember that, last year, the trifling affair of the
British Government was settled by the far more momentous consideration of
who should be Ladies of the Bed-chamber. The Parisians, seeing the
dramatic capabilities of this incident, put it into a farce, resting the
whole affair upon the shoulders of a former Queen whose Court was
similarly circumstanced. This is the piece which Mr. Yates has had the
daring to get done into English, and transplanted into Spain, and
interspersed with embroidery, confectionary, and a Spanish sentence; the
last judiciously entrusted to that accomplished linguist, Mr. John
Saunders.

Soon after the rising of the curtain, we behold the figure of Mr. Yates
displayed to great advantage in the dress usually assigned to _Noodle_ and
_Doodle_ in the tragedy of "Tom Thumb." He represents the _Count
Ollivarez_, and the head of a political party--the opposition. The Court
faction having for its chief the _Duchess of Albafurez_, who being
Mistress of the Queen's robes is of course her favourite; for the
millinery department of the country which can boast of a Queen Regnant is
of far higher importance than foreign or financial affairs, justice,
police, or war--consequently, th