art,
Fraught with a grace before unknown;

The very egg thou poachest seems
Some work of deft _orfevrerie_,--
A yolk of gold that chastely gleams
Through a thin shrine of ivory.

From thee no pale and wilted ghost,
Or branded by the blackening bar,
But crisp and cheery comes the toast,
And brown as ripening hazels are.

Thy butter has not lost the voice
Of English meads, where cowslips grow,
And oh, the bacon of thy choice--
Rose-jacinth labyrinthed in snow!

And mutton, colder than the kiss
Of formal love, where loathing lurks
Its deadlier chill doth wholly miss,
Fired with the spirit of thy works.

To true occasion thou art true,
As upon great occasions great;
Doing whatever Cook may do
When PHYLLIS, neat, alone will wait,

As when the neighbouring villas send
Their modish guests to statelier fare,
And PHYLLIS, neat, is helped to tend
By that staid man the Greengrocer.

Though thou art more than plain in look,
Thou wieldest charms that never tire--
O Cook--we will not call thee Cook,
Thou Priestess of the Genial Fire.

* * * * *

LAYING A GHOST!

PROSPECTIVE ARRANGEMENTS.--Owing to the continued success of
_Hamlet_, it has been decided (by arrangement with the Author)
to postpone, &c.--_Extract from Advertisement in Daily Paper._

SCENE--_Sanctum of Popular Actor-Manager of Theatre Royal
Haymarket, Popular Actor-Manager dozing over a submitted
Play. He closes his eyes and slumbers. When to him enter
Master WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE._

_Master W.S._ (_shouting_). What ho, Sir Player! Wake up, Sir, wake
up!

_P.A.-M._ (_rousing himself_). Delighted to see you, Mr. SHAKSPEARE. I
hope you have been in front and seen us?

_Master W.S._ Yes, I just had a glance. Find you have put in some new
business. When will all you fellows leave me alone?

_P.A.-M._ (_earnestly_). I hope, Sir, that in the cause of Art you do
not object, that--

_Master W.S._ (_interrupting_). Oh, no! It makes little difference to
me what you do. _My_ author's fees ceased years ago! But look here,
What do you mean by this? (_Produces Press-cutting of advertisement
and reads_)--"Theatre Royal, Haymarket, Prospective Arrangements.
Owing to the continued success of _Hamlet_, it has been decided (by
arrangement with the Author) to postpone" another play. Now, Master
TREE, or as I may call