a_
Fireman). Shouldn't wonder. Don't you run away yet. Sit down and
talk to me--do now. No, not _that_ side--try the arm-chair, it's more
comfortable.

_The M.M._ (_throwing himself gracefully into a well-padded chintz
chair_). Well, really--(_The chair suddenly digs him in the ribs with
one of its elbows_). Eh, look here now--'pon my--(_He attempts to
rise, and finds himself tightly pinioned by the arms of the chair._)
There's some confounded fool _inside_ this chair!

_The Simple Little Thing_ (_tickling him under the chin with her
fan_). Shouldn't call yourself names! I'm going--don't get up on
_my_ account. [_She goes off, laughing; a crowd collects and heartily
enjoys his situation._

_The M.M._ (_later--very red after his release_). If I could have
found a policeman, I'd have given that chair in custody! It's
scandalous to call _that_ coming in Fancy Dress! [_Exit indignantly._

* * * * *

THE BROWN-JONES INCIDENT.

(_ADAPTED FROM THE FRENCH._)

SCENE--_A Street. Enter BROWN and JONES. They meet, and
regard one another for a moment, fixedly. Then they salute one
another respectfully._

_Brown._ I have been looking for you everywhere.

_Jones._ Then I am delighted to have met you.

_Brown._ I have said of you that you are a trickster, a scoundrel, a
fool, and an idiot!

_Jones._ Yes--and I have regretted the saying, because it shows to me
that you have misunderstood the great literary movement of the present
day, in its vast and varied effort.

_Brown._ Of that I know nothing, for I confess I have never read your
books.

_Jones_ (_reproachfully_). Yes--and yet you accuse me of being a
trickster, a scoundrel, and a fool, without knowing my works?

_Brown._ It was my duty. But still I had no wish to be guilty of an
outrage.

_Jones._ An outrage--how an outrage?

_Brown._ Had I known you had been present to hear me I would not have
caused you the pain of listening to me.

_Jones_ (_with admiration_). But it was the act of a brave man! Did
it not occur to you that had I been within reach of you that you too
would have suffered pain?

_Brown._ It did not, I was unconscious of your presence. I would
have preferred to have spoken behind your back. It is brutal to speak
before any face. It might lead to an unpleasantness.

_Jones._ No, it is your duty to do what you think is right. It is also
my duty to do what I think is right. We are now face to face.