ro-glycerine
I'll speed my flight,
Or else I will ignite
Some Magazine--
Some _Powder_ Magazine,
EVANGELINE!

* * * * *

AN AUNT AT WILL.

[A lawsuit has been occasioned in India through white ants
devouring a will.]

It is usually supposed that Australia is topsey-turvey mad, but in
India it seems that matters also go by contraries, when compared with
their mode of procedure at home. A lawsuit has been occasioned in
Calcutta through white ants devouring a will. In England our Aunts
(who are generally whites) make wills (bless them!) and _we_ devour
them, or at least live on the proceeds.

* * * * *

[Illustration: DEAR CHILD!

_Papa_ (_to Friend from Town_). "THERE, MY BOY, THAT'S WHAT YOU OUGHT
TO DO! GET A GEE, AND COME OUT WITH THE HOUNDS!"

_Little Daughter_. "OH, PAPA, TAKE CARE YOU DON'T FALL OFF, AS YOU DID
THE OTHER DAY!"]

* * * * *

KATHLEEN AND PETRUCHIO;

OR, SHAKSPEARE BALFOURISED.

_Kathleen_. HIBERNIA. _Petruchio_. Mr. BALFOUR.
_Grumio_.... Mr. JACKSON.
_Haberdasher_.. Mr. GLADSTONE.

_Petruchio_. Thus have I politicly begun my reign,
And 'tis my hope to end successfully;
My falcon now is sharp, and passing empty;
And, till she stoop, she must not be full-gorg'd,
For then she never looks upon her lure.
Another way I have to man my haggard,
To make her come, and know her keeper's call;
That is, to watch her, as we watch these kites
That bate, and beat, and will not be obedient.
She plays no tricks to-day, nor none shall play;
Last Session she ruled not, nor shall next Session;
Resolute government is the only way
To smooth these stormy spirits.

All the same,
_After_ the hurly-burly, I intend
All shall be done in reverend care of her;
And, in conclusion, she shall have her rights,
If she will cease to rise, and rail, and brawl,
And with her clangour keep the world awake.
This is the way to kill her wrath with kindness,
And thus I'll curb her mad and headstrong humour.--
He that knows better how to tame a shrew,
Let him speak out! 'Tis time the kingdom knew!

* * * * *

_Kathleen_. The more my wrong the more his smile appears!
How doth he madden me--and master me!--
I--I, who never knew how to submit,
Nor never fancied that I should submit,--
Am s