ur
languages must be of the highest advantage to him in unravelling the
tangled skein of international finance." Acting upon such testimonials
we engaged "CROESUS." We have now reason to believe that we have
been made the victims of a gross and cruel deception. An expert in
handwriting, whom we have consulted, gives it as his opinion, that
every single one of these recommendations is in the handwriting of
"CROESUS" himself, and the police, after protracted inquiries, have
assured us that the Banks, whose supposed managers addressed us in
favour of "CROESUS," never had any actual existence at all.

All we can do now is to assist justice by publishing herewith
the photograph of "CROESUS." We apologise to all whom he may have
deceived, but we do not hold ourselves responsible for any damage he
has caused. We shall publish no more financial contributions in the
meantime.

ED.

* * * * *

ENGLISH AS SHE IS SUNG.

[Illustration]

MR. PUNCH, SIR,--If I start a butcher's business, and give my shop the
special title of The _Welsh_ Meat Shop, is the great British Public
so narrow-minded as to expect me to sell them only Welsh meat, the
produce of Welsh farms only? If so, the Public, with all due respect,
is a hass. For if I who have to live,--though perhaps others may not
see the necessity for my existence,--by my trade, find that the Welsh
meat, which the Public had expected to be ready and waiting, is not
forthcoming, only one of two things can I do; the one is to shut
up shop (which I won't), and the other is to provide my intending
customers with French, Indian, English, Irish, Scotch, American,
Australian, New Zealandian, Cape Colonial, in fact with any meat I can
get from anywhere, and as long as it is toothsome, and I can afford
to sell it at an average price, why should it not be sold at my Royal
Welsh Meat Shop?

When I call my shop The Royal Welsh Meat Shop, do I thereby bar myself
from dealing in English or foreign meats? Do I bar myself from dealing
in Indian pickles or China oranges? No, certainly not; nor do I bar
myself from selling neckties, gloves, ginger-beer, and Brazil nuts.
So, when a House of Musical Entertainment is styled The English Opera
House, it must be understood, "all to the contrary nevertheless
and notwithstanding," to mean an English House where Opera may be
performed, and not a Theatre where only English Opera is Housed. "My
soul can not be fettered," as