lid
during his enforced rest.

***

We understand that a West-End lady has just been appointed mistress to
a young parlourmaid.

***

We hear that the soldier who, after being demobilised, at once
returned to barracks in order to say a few suitable words to his late
sergeant-major, was put off on being told that he would have to take
his turn in the queue.

* * * * *

THE PRE-WAR HABIT.

"Clerk (male) quick and accurate at figures; one used to wages
preferred."--_Daily Paper_.

* * * * *

"The engine, which is based on the principle of the turbine, is
designed to produce 30,000 revolutions a minute."--_Daily Paper_.

Bolshevists please note.

* * * * *

"Commander Ramsay and the Princess themselves had a private survey
of their new possessions yesterday before the guests appeared, and
report has it warmly congratulated one another on the interest
and beauty of most of the things, and the unusual percentage of
unimaginative and ugly offerings."

_Daily Sketch_.

Although the statement is somewhat ambiguous, we feel sure that the
writer meant well.

* * * * *

THE TONIC OF MARCH.

_(With acknowledgments to the author)._

Month of the Winds (especially the East)
That staunch the young year's floods by dyke and dam,
Who enter like a lion, that great beast,
And make your egress like a woolly lamb;
Who come, as Mars full-armed for battle's shocks,
From lethargy of Winter's sloth to wean us,
Then melt (about the vernal equinox),
As he did in the softer arms of Venus;--

O Month, before your final moon is set,
Much may have happened--anything, in fact;
More than in any March that I have met
(Last year excepted) fearful nerves are racked;
Anarchy does with Russia what it likes;
Paris is put conundrums very knotty;
And here in England, with its talk of strikes,
Men, like your own March hares, seem going dotty.

Blow, then, with all your gales and clear our skies!
We did not win that War the other day
To please the Huns or gladden TROTSKY'S eyes
By fighting, kin with kin, this futile way;
Blow--not too hard, of course--I should not care
To inconvenience Mr. WILSON on his voyage--
But just enough to clean the germy air
And usher in the universal Joy-A