he was going to explain it to them. They, in their turn, were to
explain it when they got home to their dear parents.

"Blockheads!" this was his usual mode of addressing his _jeunesse
doree_--"blockheads! you see here before you the letter patent of His
Honour, the magistrate, signifying that all the schools are to be shut
up, and the whole village is to be on the alert, inasmuch as a terrible
disease, called the 'morbus,' is about to enter the kingdom. When the
morbus lays hold of anybody the individual in question has not even time
to look over his shoulder, but falls down dead on the spot. Down he
drops, and there he stays.

"The morbus begins in this way. The gall overflows into the vital
essences, and becomes gall-fever or cholera, consequently take care you
don't aggravate me.

"Moreover, the morbus in question is to be found inside this year's
melons, apricots, and all sorts of fruit; so every man jack of you who
doesn't want to be a dead 'un mustn't go guzzling berries and such
like."

Here a couple of Scythians from the northern counties began squabbling
loudly on the back benches.

"Hie, there, you blockhead! Mike Turlyik, I know it is you--what was I
talking about?"

"You was saying that--that--that--no more apricots were to be sneaked
from his reverence's garden."

"Come out here, my son, wilt thou? I've a word to say in thine ear!"

And he leathered the unfortunate Mike soundly. Yet the lad after all had
reasoned not illogically, for he had started from the assumption that
the prohibition in question had been inserted in the letter patent for
the express purpose of scaring the people away from the priest's
orchard, his reverence being the only man in the village who cultivated
fruit-trees.

"And now let us return to the matter in hand. Listen now, you
addlepates!

"Bathing, too, is very dangerous just now, and, in fact, every sort of
washing with cold water, for thereby the vital essence within a man is
easily upset. On the other hand, brandy-drinking is very wholesome, for
thereby the volume of spiritual essence in man is at any rate increased.
Work on an empty stomach is also dangerous, as also are too much
reflection and brain-racking. On the other hand the eating of roast meat
and as little walking about in the sun as possible are very
profitable."

This passage delighted the addlepates immensely.

"Inasmuch, however, as it is quite possible that a man from a
neighbouring village migh