our! Don't put
yourself about! I'll not have a drink. Yes, I really mean it. I didn't
say I was thirsty on that account. Wine does not suit my constitution at
this time of day. Besides, to tell you the truth, I have had some
already. For how else could I endure this terrible heat and this
horrible dust. It weighed so upon my chest that I was obliged to look in
at Samsi's tavern for an instant. Oh no! I assure you I did not go there
on that account. I only wanted to have a word or two with my good friend
the magistrate. He was not there, it is true, but instead of him I found
the sworn jurors, Spletyko and Hamza, and a couple of peasants, who
thereupon seized and offered me some brandy to drink. Your honour will
graciously understand that I don't like brandy very much, my
constitution won't stand it, and then it was only the afternoon, and it
is not wholesome to drink so early. So, says I, thank you, but I won't
take any, whereupon every man jack of them fell fiercely upon me. 'Oh,
ho!' they cried, 'so you too have already been primed what to drink and
what not to drink, eh? So they have told you that the brandy has been
poisoned, eh?'

"'What do you mean?' I cried.

"'The brandy is poisoned.'

"'Who has poisoned it?'

"'Who but the bigwigs themselves.'

"'Fire and flames! here goes!' I shouted in my horror, and forthwith,
just to show my indignation, I seized and emptied every glass I could
get hold of one after the other.

"'Poison, eh!' says I, 'poison! how can it be poison if I drink it? I'm
as alive as ever I was, ain't I?'

"'Well,' says that squinting blockhead Hamza, 'if there's no poison in
that cask there is in the other, so draw us some out of that, Samsi!'

"But Samsi durst not leave the room, he made out that an ague was
shaking him, so his wife went instead of him down into the cellar in the
presence of the two sworn jurors, and brought a sample for tasting out
of every cask. I assure your honour it was very hard upon me, for brandy
does not suit me at all, yet, out of gratitude to your honour, I drank
all this new stuff likewise. It is a marvel to me that I didn't grovel
on the ground and root up the earth with my nose, so much did I drink.

"'Well,' cried I, 'should I not be dead by this time if there was really
poison in it?'

"All that squinting Hamza could say in reply was:

"'Well, if there's none in to-day there will be some in to-morrow.'

"'Very well,' says I, 'I will come to-morrow