couch! Pore thing! If it ain't
a h'arm, it's a leg! _(looks at her sympathetically)_

Aunt. _(looking at picture over door)_ My picture! How sweet of
the dear boy! Oh, Jack, what a happy time we shall have together.

Aurora. _(coaxingly)_ If you please mum, the doctor says as
you're to take the couch, and he'll take your case next, mum.
_(puts her arm round her waist and walks her up to couch)_

TABLEAU.

Aunt. _(smiling)_ My case! _(sits on sofa)_ Aurora. Yes, buck up,
mum! _(slaps her on back)_

Aunt. _(amused, aside)_ Am I _very pale_, I wonder? If I am, it's
with the joy of looking forward to clasping my dear brother's
child in my arms.

Aurora. _(kindly)_ It'll soon be over. He'll be very gentle with
yer, he's got sich a sorft 'and. _(puts her legs up)_

_(Enter Doctor.)_

Doctor. _(sotto voce)_ Damn good get-up. _(loudly)_ Damn good!

Aurora. _(shocked)_ Oh, doctor!

Doctor. _(to Aurora)_ Don't you see? It's the picture--my Aunt
Susie! _(points to picture, then to her)_

Aurora. _(comes to join him, they stand c, backs to audience,
roars)_ So it is, an' I said, "If it ain't a h'arm, it's a leg."
_(roars)_

Doctor. It's _both_ arms and _both_ legs, Aurora. and we'll
have 'em off in a twinkling, _(takes coat off, rolls up shirt
sleeves)_

Aunt. _(flabbergasted)_ Both arms! Both legs!

Aurora. Right you are, sir, you fetch the larfin' gas, while I
sharpen the knives, _(sharpens two long knives from case against
each other)_

Aunt. _(screams)_ Knives! Murder! Murder! Let me out!

_(Exit quickly.)_

Doctor. _(calls after her)_ Don't go--Old Soosie-Toosie!

Aurora. _(laughing)_ We've cured him, sir, we've cured him!

CURTAIN.

ACT II.

Scene.--Same as Act I. No time elapses.

Doctor. _(alone)_ Good old Merry Andrew! What a sight he looked!
Fancy expecting me to take his lumbering carcase for my gentle
aunt. Why, I could see his trousers, _(laughs, picks up bills,
suddenly stops laughing)_ I must sober down now and remember I'm
a married man with a lot of responsibilities--and no money, not
_yet!_ But auntie's coming to-morrow--the _real_ aunt--coming
like a good fairy to make everything rosy! _(looks at photo)_
Flo, dear little Flo!

_(Bell.)_

_(not hearing bell, engrossed in photo)_ I'm longing to tell
you the good news! I'll write to you. _(sits and writes)_ "Dear
Madam." _(tears it up)_ I mean "Darling Flo." _(writes)_

_(Enter Flora. shown in by Aurora. She carries a bag