tell the doctor----

Aunt. _(with suppressed indignation)_ Engaged with some poor
suffering patient, I presume? _(sits)_

Aurora. _(aside)_ I don't like her tone of voice, _(comes down
and looks in her face--aside)_ It's 'im! _(aloud)_ Is the
doctor expectin' of you back, or was you took wuss? What's your
complaint, eh? _(taps her on the shoulder)_

Aunt. _(indignantly)_ My complaint? _You!_ _(shoves her away)_ Go
and tell the doctor that I am here, at once.

Aurora. _(not moving)_ Oh, yuss, if not sooner. What name, eh?
_(same Bus.)_

Aunt. _(loudly)_ No name.

Aurora. _(not moving)_ Oh, the doctor won't see no lady without
no name. 'E's very particular.

Aunt. _(with suppressed rage)_ Then tell him Susie-Toosie wants
to see him. _(crosses sofa and sits)_

Aurora. Oh! what ho! _(laughing)_ Susie-Toosie--oh, if it's that
you needn't wait. Come along, outside. _(tries to pull her out of
her chair)_ 'Op it!

_(Enter Doctor. Aurora stops suddenly.)_

Doctor. _(surprised)_ Aurora!

Aurora. _(to him)_ It's Susie-Toosie, sir. _(laughs)_ Come back
again.

Doctor. _(laughing)_ So it is. Go on, Aurora. turn it out, that
thing's my aunt, _(sings)_ "For she's a jolly good fellow."

_(Bell rings.)_

Aurora. _(leaving go of Aunt)_ Drat that bell, it's spoilt my
day.

_(Exit Aurora.)_

Doctor. _(quietly)_ Look here, you merry Andrews take your hair
off. _(pulls it)_ Oh, by George!, he has stuck it on tight!
_(pulls it harder)_

Aunt, _(indignantly)_ Sir!

Doctor. Don't put on that silly voice, I know all about you. I'll
make him jealous, _(sings)_ "There were two jolly sailor girls
from Portsmouth town"--the little one makes eyes at me. But it's
the tall one I like, she calls me "dear Jack." Oh, she's _dead
gone_ on me. _Her father wants me to marry her._ _(aside)_ That's
shut him up! _(aloud)_ And look here, you've got to take your
hook. I'm fagged out after my railway journey--I'm going to have
a bath before _she_ comes--you know I'm a great believer in the
water cure.

_(Takes off his frock coat and throws it down, goes to bath room,
turns on hot and cold taps in sight of audience, noise of water
flowing into bath.)_

Now, don't sit there looking a silly ass. _(shies something
at her at the last word)_

_(Aunt sits facing audience, speechless with indignation.)_

You know you're not a bit like a lady, and nobody but a lunatic
would take you for one. Hurry up and get some decent togs on, and
come