_(L. C, rising indignantly)_ Mr. Plant!

Plant. No, no, of course not--I beg pardon--_(sees she is wearing
Doctor's bath-towel dressing gown---aside)_ By George! it looks
like it, though! What has happened?

Aunt. Who's Miss Garden's husband? _(back to fireplace)_

Plant. _(R. C, aside)_ Ahem! I must make a bit out of this,
anyway. My dear lady, I mustn't betray a professional confidence,
by mentioning his name, _(aside)_ Even if I knew it, which I
don't, _(to her)_ But, strictly between ourselves, he's Jack's
greatest friend.

Aunt. She's married to Jack's greatest friend?

Plant. Yes--a lieutenant in the navy.

Aunt. Disgraceful! _(crosses to table)_

Plant. Yes, _(at sofa)_ I mustn't say more, _(aside)_ Don't know
any more, _(to her)_ You see, she's a client of mine--of course
I shall try and save Jack from the Divorce Court, but it's gone
rather far, and these things cost money, you know.

Aunt. What do you mean? _(end of sofa)_

Plant. Only this afternoon I found her concealed on that
couch--beneath that very rug you're now wearing--

_(Bus.--Aunt flings it off.)_

--and; when I remonstrated with Jack--as a father--_(end of
sofa)_ he actually tried to pass her off as an Anatomical model.

Aunt. _(at table, back to fire)_ Then, why do you call him a
'Gentle Sheppard?' Every word you say only makes it worse.

Plant. _(aside)_ Ahem! I've gone too far! _(crosses to R.)_

Aunt. Bad as he is, I shall do my duty by him--I'm going to find
him a wife.

Plant. I'm afraid he can't support a wife--yet.

Aunt. I shall settle an income on her--she'll take better care of
it. _(crosses to sofa)_

Plant _(aside)_ It's all on again, _(to her, crosses to table
C.)_ A noble resolve, _(gets out pocket-book)_ Shall I take your
instructions now? How much shall I say?

Aunt. Not yet. _(crosses C.)_ I want you to send your daughters
to me. _(crosses to sofa, puts sofa cushions behind her head.
Only the Doctor's cap is visible to anyone entering room)_

Plant. With pleasure! _(aside, putting up pocketbook)_ I've done
the trick, _(to her)_ Two dear girls, who have never caused me a
moment's uneasiness all their blameless lives.

_(Enter Mrs. O'Hara, sees fez, and naturally takes Aunt for
Doctor.)_

Mrs. O'H. Now, then, Doctor. me an' my friends are all waitin'
upstairs to 'ear the funny story.

Plant. What funny story?

Mrs. O'H. About the Lady and the Water Cure.

Aunt. _(aside)_ The Lady and the Water Cure