you sit down? _(seats himself and writing table,
puts teapot on blotter. He is always absent-minded when absorbed
in his science)_

Now! _(earnestly)_ What can I do for you? What's the trouble, eh?

Plant. _(aside)_ Well, upon my word, he's a cool customer.
_(stands R. of table)_

Doctor. Come, come, let's hear what it is, or how I can help you;
you know I'm in the habit of hearing confidences, _(sees teapot,
puts it under table)_

Plant. _(indignantly)_ Sir, I'm a father!

Doctor. _(bowing)_ Sir, I congratulate you. _(writes "Father"
on note pad--to Plant cheerfully)_ Is it a boy or a girl?

Plant. _(hotly)_ Two girls, sir.

Doctor. Dear, dear, I sympathize with you. _(makes a note "two
girls")_ Mother doing well?

Plant. _(gesticulating wildly)_ The mother's dead, sir!

Doctor. _(with sympathy)_ Ah, now I understand your agitation,
_(makes note)_ And the twins--are _they_ well?

Plant. _(wildly)_ Damn it, Sir, they're not twins, and I've lost
'em.

Doctor. Dear, dear! _(aside)_ Lost his wife and both the poor
little babies, _(writing on note pad)_

Plant. _(chokingly)_ Only half an hour ago, and I've come to
you----

Doctor. _(putting up his hand)_ No, no, if your own Doctor won't
grant a certificate, it's no use coming to me. _(tears up notes)_

Plant. I tell you I left 'em here, on this sofa.

Doctor. _(rises indignantly)_ Oh _my_ sofa! Then you'd no
business to. How dare you leave the poor things lying on my sofa?
Where are they? _(looking under sofa cushions)_

Plant. Hang it, sir, that's what I've come to ask _you_. What
have you done with them?

_(Enter Tupper.)_

Tupper. _(to Doctor)_ Please, sir, Mrs. O'Hara says--_(hands him
her account book)_

Plant. _(seizing Tupper)_ Where are my daughters? _(crosses C,
shaking Tupper--threatening him with big stick)_

Tupper. I dunno, sir--give it up.

Plant. No prevarications! You saw the two young ladies.

Doctor. _(surprised)_ Two young ladies! I see now!

Tupper. Are you their _father_, sir? I didn't think you was old
enough.

Plant. _(pleased, releases him, pats his head)_ Good lad!
_(crosses down L.)_

Doctor. Where have they gone, Tupper?

Tupper, I dunno, sir--they was fetched.

Plant. Fetched? Who by? _(rushing at Tupper furiously)_

Tupper. I dunno, sir, two gentlemen--they didn't leave no name,
they simply come, saw the ladies---and carried 'em off.

_(Bus.--Plant threatening Tupper--Tupper arm up.)_

_(Exit Tupper qu