ice puddin'?" said Jem,
in a tone of honest indignation. "'T is a shame for you, Bess! She made
a rice puddin', your reverence, that was fit for the Grate House; and
begor, your reverence might sit down to worse yourself. Sich raisons and
currans!"

"Begor, I'm thinking you're thrying to put the comedher on me, you
blagard, with your blarney," said Mrs. Deady with angry suspicion,
drawing back and scrutinizing his face.

[Illustration: "And why don't you tell his reverence about the rice
puddin'?"]

"Thrying to put the comedher on _you_, Bess? Begor, I'd like to see the
man that could do it. But I'll say this, in the presence of his
reverence, and wid yerself to the fore, that there isn't in this
parish, nor in the nex', nor in the nex' again, nor widin the four walls
of Ireland, a betther wife nor a betther housekeeper den you, Bess
Clancy." And to emphasize this panegyric, Jem threw his battered hat on
the floor and brushed away a tear.

It was a pity not to come to the aid of such a superb diplomatist. No
wonder the British diplomatic service is manned by Irishmen from
Singapore to Halifax. What would Melikoff, and Von Schaffterhausen, and
De Laborie be in the hands of Jem Deady? He'd twist them around his
little finger. I saw the angry wrinkles smoothing themselves on the brow
of Mrs. Deady, as she melted under the gentle rain of flattery.

"I'd forgive you a good deal, Deady," I said; "your repeated violations
of solemn pledges, your sacrilege in bringing down to a public house the
most sacred melodies of the Church--"

"They were _at_ me," said Jem. "They said as how I couldn't get my
tongue around the Latin, and that Father Letheby--"

"I understand," I interrupted; "but even that I'd forgive. But to take
the innocent lambs of my flock, my choir boys and altar boys, the
children of sober and religious parents, whose hearts are broken by your
misconduct--"

"Childre' of sober and religious parents,--whose hearts are broken,"
chimed in Mrs. Deady. "Wisha, thin, without manin' any disrespect to
your riverence, would you be plazed to mintion these dacent people? An'
if these religious parents wor mindin' their childre', insted of
colloguing and placin' their nabors, their religious childre' wouldn't
be lying drunk in Mrs. Haley's public house. But of coorse 't is Jim
Deady here and Jim Deady there; and if the thruth wos towld, he's as
good as any of 'em, though I shouldn't say it to his face. Come along,
y