he merit of continuity and conformed to
the logic, seldom too severe, of this kind of entertainment, as distinct
from the so-called _revue_. Nearly everything was well within my
intelligence, the chief exception being the title; for never surely did a
wild-goose chase offer such easy sport. The birds were just asking to be
put into the bag. I should myself have preferred, out of compliment to the
chorus, to call the play "Wild Ducks," only, of course, IBSEN had been
there before. Not that this would have greatly troubled an author who
showed so little regard for the proprietary rights of ARISTOPHANES and Sir
JAMES BARRIE.

O.S.

* * * * *

WITCHES.

"Finns, they're witches," said Murphy, "'tis born in 'em maybe,
The same as fits an' freckles an' follerin' the sea,
An' ginger hair in some folks--an' likin' beer in me.

"Finns, they're witches," said Murphy, "an' powerful strong ones too;
They'll whistle a wind from nowhere an' a storm out o' the blue
'Ud sink this here old hooker an' all her bloomin' crew.

"Finns, they're witches," said Murphy, rubbing his hairy chin,
"An' some counts witchcraft bunkum, an' some a deadly sin,
But--there ain't no harm as I see in standing well with a Finn."

C.F.S.

* * * * *

OUR CYNICAL PRESS.

"Mr. ----, M.P., is leaving home for a fortnight's rest."--_Scotch
Paper._

* * * * *

PROTECTION FROM BURGLARS.

FOR IDEAL AND OTHER HOMES.

[Illustration: HAVING SEEN THAT THE FRONT-DOOR BURGLAR ALARM-GONG IS IN
WORKING ORDER--

AND THE PASSAGE SPRING-TRAP ADJUSTED TO A NICETY--

AND THE PATENT PROTECTIVE STAIR-CREAK RECORDER IS SET TO THE RIGHT KEY--

AND YOUR SYNCHRONISED WINDOW-CATCH WARNING SYSTEM GEARED PROPERLY--

YOU CAN JUST GIVE A LOOK AT THE MECHANISM CONTROLLING THE BURGLAR
CHLOROFORM SHOWER--

ARRANGE YOUR BARBED-WIRE-ENTANGLEMENT RUG--

RUN THROUGH YOUR JIU-JITSU EXERCISES ACCORDING TO CHART--

FIX YOUR INTERIOR BEDROOM-DOOR DEFENCES--

AND GO TO BED.]

* * * * *

THE INCORRIGIBLE.

Ernest was a sprightly youth
With a passion for the truth,
Who, the other day, began
His career as midshipman.
'Twas not in the least degree
Vulgar curiosity
Urging him to ask the reason
Why, both in and out of season;
'Twas but keenness; all he lacked
Was a saving sense of tact.

Once the