m learning German
and Latin. I am studying seriously. Day before yesterday I took my
first lesson in physics. Oh, how well pleased with myself I am!

I have received the _Derby_. I found a number of horses entered by
the Duc de H----. The races at Baden! How I should like to be there.
Nothing prevents me, but I will not go. I must study. And with a
heavy heart I read of the horse races. I calm myself with great
difficulty and comfort myself by saying: "Let us study; our turn
will come, if it is God's will."

I have read this journal. My eyes are glittering, my hands are
frozen. There is no doubt of it. I adore, I adore--horses. They are
my life, my soul, my happiness. By chance I shook my whip. There was
the same hissing sound as at the races. I jumped. I no longer know
where I am. Come; it mustn't be talked about.

September 20th.

Only at five o'clock I am free, and I am going to the city with the
Princess and Dina. In the French lesson I read Sacred History, the
Ten Commandments of God. It says we must not make unto ourselves
graven images of anything that is in the heavens. The Latins and the
Greeks were wrong, they were idolaters who worshipped statues and
paintings. I, too, am very far from following this method. I believe
in God, our Saviour, the Virgin, and I honour some of the saints,
not all, for there are some that are manufactured like plum cakes.
May God forgive this reasoning if it is wrong. But in my simple mind
this is the way things are and I cannot change them.

Shall I ever believe that God has commanded a tabernacle to be built
to have His oracle heard from the ark in it? No, no! God is too
great, too sublime for these unbearable Pagan follies. I worship God
in everything. People can pray everywhere, and He is everywhere
present.

I went to the city for a turn on the Promenade. In the evening we
played kings again, but the game isn't sufficiently interesting. We
played like amateurs. For all that I had a good time and laughed
heartily.

G---- came and--I no longer remember in what connection--said that
human beings are degenerate monkeys. He is a little fellow who gets
his ideas from Uncle N----.

"Then," I said to him, "you don't believe in God?" He: "I can
believe only what I understand."

Oh, the horrid fool! All the boys who are beginning to grow
moustaches think like that. They are simpletons who believe that
women cannot reason and understand. They regard them as dolls who
talk