wo hours turning over the leaves.

I said to myself: I am living to be happy! Everything must bow
before me! And see how it is--the idea that I could fail in anything
never occurred to me.

A delay, yes, but a complete failure, nonsense!--And I see with
terror and humiliation that I was deceived, that nothing happens as
I wish. It is not because I love some one; I do not love anybody
seriously; I love a coronet and money. It is terrible to think that
everything is escaping. Each instant I long to pray to God, and each
instant I stop myself. I shall pray again, let what will happen!

My God, Holy Virgin, do not scorn me, take me under your
protection.

Sunday, January 16th, 1876.

I feel that I shall write badly, for I have just been reading my old
journal. Mamma begged me to read the period of G----. I read it,
passing over a number of things. What is perfectly simple when
written is no longer so when read aloud. My face burned, my fingers
grew cold, and I ended by saying that I could not go on.

"She will read it to us in two years," said Mamma.

After St. Peter's, Mamma went to Baron d'I----'s, the ambassador's
cousin. She made his acquaintance at the ambassadress's. These
people are very simple and agreeable. I liked the baron especially.

There was a crowd on the Pincio, the Corso and the Piazza Colonna
were thronged with carriages and people returning from the Pincio.

We dined at the table d'hote because the son of the Grand Duke of
Baden was to dine there. A number of society people were present,
and the Grand Duke is a pleasant fellow enough--for a Grand Duke.

Wednesday, January 19th, 1876.

We went to the Pincio, there were a great many people. The Duc de
L----, son of the Grand Duchess M----, the emperor's sister, was
there with Mme. A----, the wife of a Russian prefect. The Duc de
L---- saw her and was captivated. Since then she is always with him.
It is said that they are secretly married and live abroad. That is
what people call having happiness. She had liveried servants and
magnificent horses--suitable, I should think, for the niece of the
Emperor of Russia.

January 19th, 1876.

At the church of St. John we met Baronne d'I----, the ambassadress's
cousin, who came up to Mamma and talked with her a long time,
apologising for not having yet called, on account of her husband's
illness. Mamma went to her house last Sunday, three days ago.

From there to the Pincio, then to the Corso,