on, Lord Scratch.

_Enter LORD SCRATCH._

_Lord._ What a wonderful virtue is the art of hearing!--may I die, if a
listener be found any where:--Zounds! am not I a peer, and don't I talk
by prerogative?--and, if I mayn't talk ten times as much as another
person, what's the use of my peerage?

_Ennui._ I've an idea--I don't comprehend you.

_Lord._ That fellow Neville wouldn't hear a word I had to
say:--abandoned young dog!--he's come to Bath to invent tales against
that divinity, Lady Waitfor't, again, I suppose--but my ward, Louisa,
shall be put out of his power for ever--she shall marry you to-morrow.

_Ennui._ In fact--I always forgot to give your lordship joy of your
title, though not of your dress.

_Lord._ Not of my dress!--ay, ay;--that's the difference--you poor
devils, in humble life, are obliged to dress well, to look like
gentlemen--we peers may dress as we please--[_Looking at his watch._]
but I shall lose my appointments--past two o'clock.

_Ennui._ Past two o'clock!--delightful!

_Lord._ Delightful!--what, at your old tricks?

_Ennui._ I'd an idea--it had been only one.

_Lord._ And you're delighted because it's an hour later?

_Ennui._ To be sure I am--my dear friend, to be sure I am--the enemy has
lost a limb.

_Lord._ So you're happy, because you're an hour nearer the other
world?--tell me now,--do you wish to die?

_Ennui._ No.--But I wish somebody would invent a new mode of killing
time--in fact, I think I've found one--private acting.

_Lord._ Acting!--never talk to me about the stage--I detest a theatre,
and every thing that belongs to it: and if ever--but no matter--I must
to Lady Waitfor't, and prevail on her to marry me at the same time you
marry my ward.--But, remember our agreement--you are to settle your
estate on Louisa, and I am to bring you into parliament.

_Ennui._ In fact, I comprehend--I am to be a hearer and not a speaker.

_Lord._ Speaker!--if you open your mouth, the Chiltern Hundreds is your
portion.--Look ye--you are to be led quietly to the right side--to sleep
during the debate--give a nod for your vote,--and in every respect, move
like a mandarin, at my command;--in short, you are to be a mandarin
member.--So, fare you well till we're both married. [_Exit._

_Ennui._ I've an idea, here's Neville.--In fact--he knows nothing of my
marrying Louisa, nor shall he, till after the happy day.--Strange news,
Neville.

_Enter NEVILLE._

_Nev._ I've heard it