us, Mr Vapid----

_Vapid._ Why, I am serious:--and I'll tell you, lady Waitfor't, 'tis the
last line of an epilogue, and the last scene of a comedy, that always
distracts me--'tis the reconciliation of lovers--there's the
difficulty!--You find it so in real life, I dare say?

_Lady._ Yes.--But Mr Vapid, this affair concerns me excessively, and I
wish to know what is to be done.

_Vapid._ I'll tell you,--write a play,--and, bad as it may possibly be,
say it's a translation from the French, and interweave a few compliments
on the English, and, my life on't, it does wonders.--Do it, and say you
had the thought from me.

_Lady._ Sir, do you mean to deride me?

_Vapid._ No.--But only be cautious in your style--women are in general
apt to indulge that pruriency and warm luxuriancy of fancy they
possess,--but do be careful--be decent--if you are not, I have done with
you.

_Lady._ Sir, I desire you'll be more respectful.--I don't understand it
at all. [_Rising._

_Enter MARIANNE._

_Vapid._ Then here comes one that will explain every thing.

"There's in her all that we believe of Heaven;
Amazing brightness, purity, and truth,
Eternal joy, and everlasting love!"

My dear sweet little partner, I rejoice to see you!

_Mari._ And, my dear sweet Mr Poet, I rejoice to see you!

_Lady._ Provoking!--Have I not told you a thousand times, never to break
in upon me when I am alone?

_Mari._ Alone, my lady! do you call Mr Vapid nobody, then?

_Lady._ Suppose I should,--what is that to you?

_Mari._ Then I have a wrong notion of your nobodies.--I always thought
them harmless, unmeaning things; but Mr Vapid's not so very harmless
either--are you, Mr Vapid?

_Vapid._ Indeed, ma'am, I am not.

_Mari._ There now,--I told you so.--Upon my word, you rely too much on
your time of life,--you do indeed. You think, because you're a little
the worse for wear, you may trust yourself any where,--but you're
mistaken--you're not near so bad as you imagine--nay, I don't flatter,
do I, Mr Vapid?

_Vapid._ Indeed, ma'am, you do not.

_Lady._ Look ye, miss,--your insolence is not to be borne--you have been
the chief cause of all my perplexities.

_Mari._ Nay, aunt, don't say that.

_Lady._ No matter,--your behaviour is shameless, and it is high time I
exerted the authority of a relation--you are a disgrace to me--to
yourself, and your friends--therefore, I am de