ant, now very distant past, the more I
feel how, without being aware of it, my whole character was formed by
it. The unspoiled primitiveness of life at Dessau as it was when I was
at school there till the age of twelve, would be extremely difficult
to describe in all its details. Everybody seemed to know everybody and
everything about everybody. Everybody knew that he was watched, and
gossip, in the best sense of the word, ruled supreme in the little
town. Gossip was, in fact, public opinion with all its good and all
its bad features. Still the result was that no one could afford to
lose caste, and that everybody behaved as well as he could. I really
believe that the private life of the people of Dessau at the beginning
of the century was blameless. The great evils of society did not
exist, and if now and then there was a black sheep, his or her life
became a burden to them. Everybody knew what had happened, and society
being on the whole so blameless, was all the more merciless on the
sinners, whether their sins were great or small. So from the very
first my idea was that there were only two classes--one class quite
perfect and pure as angels, the other black sheep, and altogether
unspeakable. There was no transition, no intermediate links, no
shading of light and dark. A man was either black or white, and this
rigid rule applied not only to moral character, but intellectual
excellence also was measured by the same standard. A work of art was
either superlatively beautiful, or it was contemptible. A man of
science was either a giant or a humbug. Some people spoke of Goethe as
the greatest of all poets and philosophers the world had ever known;
others called him a wicked man and an overvalued poet.[7]

[7] That this was not only the case at Dessau, may be seen by a
number of contemporary reviews of Goethe's works republished
some years ago and the exact title of which I cannot find.

It is dangerous, no doubt, to go through life with so imperfect a
measure, and I have for a long time suffered from it, particularly in
cases where I ought to have been able to make allowance for small
failings. But as I had been brought up to approach people with a
complete trust in their rectitude, and with an unlimited admiration of
their genius, it took me many years before I learnt to make allowance
for human weaknesses or temporary failures. I have lost many a
charming companion and excellent friend in my journey through life,