quent silence that such a remark was neither a
"picturesque interjection," nor sufficiently humorous for him to take
objection to it. The other day, in a County Court, a Barrister refused
to go on with a case until the Judge had done smiling! But--"This is
another story."

* * * * *

GOOD GRACE-IOUS!

Two out of three, my GRACE! That sounds a drubber.
No chance for England now to "win the rubber."
We deemed you romping in, that second Cable;
But your team didn't. Fact is, 'twasn't ABEL
(Though ABEL in himself was quite a team).
Well, well, your SHEFFIELD blades met quite the cream
Of Cornstalk Cricketers. Cheer up, cut in!
And when March comes, make that Third Match a Win!
We're sure that while you hold the Captain's place,
Your men will win or lose with a good GRACE!

* * * * *

SUGGESTED TITLE FOR AN ACCOUNT OF A GORGEOUS BALLET OF UGLY
GIRLS.--The Story of the Glittering Plain.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "STRAY SHEEP."

(_As illustrated by Mr. Chamberlain in his Speech in the House on
Thursday, February 11._)

"THOSE SHEEP WHO NEVER HEARD THEIR SHEPHERD'S VOICE;
WHO DID NOT KNOW, YET WOULD NOT LEARN THEIR WAY;
WHO STRAYED THEMSELVES, YET GRIEVED THAT I SHOULD STRAY."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: PERFECTLY PLAIN.

_Young Wife._ "OH, I'M SO HAPPY! HOW IS IT YOU'VE NEVER MARRIED, MISS
PRYMME?"

_Miss Prymme._ "MY DEAR, I NEVER HAVE ACCEPTED--AND NEVER WOULD
ACCEPT--ANY OFFER OF MARRIAGE!"

[_And then her Questioner began softly playing the old Air, "Nobody
axed you."_]]

* * * * *

THE TWO SHEPHERDS.

[Mr. JOHN MORLEY was, on Feb. 6, at Newcastle-on-Tyne,
initiated a Hon. Member of the Loyal Order of Ancient
Shepherds, and afterwards, in a speech in the People's
Palace, sharply criticised Mr. CHAMBERLAIN's plan for Old
Age Pensions, expressing his preference for "more modest
operations" in the direction of relaxing and enlarging the
provisions of the Poor Law.]

_To the Tune of Burns's "The Twa Herds."_

O, all ye poor and aged flocks,
Dealt with in fashion orthodox
By Bumble bodies hard as rocks,
And stern as tykes;
And treated like mere waifs and crooks,
Or herded Smikes!

Two brother Shepherds, as men thought,
Have somehow fallen out and fough