* * * *

AN INFLUENZA SONG.

AIR--"_OH, WE'RE ALL NODDIN'._"

Oh, we've none coddlin',
Cod, cod, coddlin';
Oh, we've none coddlin'.
At our house at home!

Ha!--my Father has a cough--
Now--my Mother has a wheeze;
What!! my Brother has a pain
In forehead, arms, chest, back and knees.
So--we've three coddlin', &c.

How my eldest Sister aches
From her forehead to her toes!
And my second Brother's eyes
Are weeping either side his nose.
So--we've five coddlin', &c.

There's my eldest Brother down
With a pain all round his head,
Ah! I'm the only one who's up--
Oh!... Oh!... I'll go to bed!
So--we're all coddlin', &c.

As the Doctor orders Port,
Orders Burgundy, Champagne,
Good living and good drinking,
Why we none of us complain,
While we're--all coddlin',
Cod, cod, coddlin',
While we're all coddlin'
At our house at home!

* * * * *

BY A SMALL WESTERN.--Orientals take off their shoes on entering a
Mosque. We remove our hats on entering a Church. Both symbolical; one
leaves his understanding outside; the other enters with a clear head.

* * * * *

HORACE IN LONDON.

TO THE COUNTY COUNCIL. (_AD REMPUBLICAM._)

[Illustration]

New vessel, now returning ship
From this thy tried and trial trip,
Refit in dock awhile: I fear
Your ballast looks a trifle queer.

Your rigging ("rigging" is a word
By other folk than seamen heard)
Has got a little loose; you need
An overhaul, you do indeed.

Your sails (or purchases?) should stay
The stress--and Press--that on them weigh:
This constant playing to the gods
Will scarcely weather blustering odds.

In vain to blazon "London's Heart"
As figure-head, if thus you part
Unseaworthy; in vain to boast
Your "boom"--a cranky boom at most.

We rate you, _we_ who pay your rates:
Beware the overhauling fates,
Beware lest down you go at last
The sport and puppet of the blast.

I always voted you a bore,
But never quite so much before
Besought you with a frugal mind
To sail not quite so near the wind.

* * * * *

MRS. R. AGAIN.--To our excellent old lady, being convalescent, her
niece was reading the news. She commenced about the County Coun