sensible boy!

_Bobby_. Y-yes, Father, I am. It--it's quite cured my toothache
already--_really_ it has!

_Mrs. Frivell_ (_reading from Catalogue_). "A Penitent's Girdle, made
of barbed wire, which, when worn next to the flesh, caused the most
unpleasant and uncomfortable irritation." Oh, FREDERIC, just fancy
that!

_Mr. F._ My dear CECILIA, I can _quite_ fancy it!

_Mrs. F._ But I thought these tortures were only for _Malefactors_.
Why do they call it a _Penitent's_ Girdle?

_Mr. F._ Can't say,--unless because he generally repented having put
it on.

_Mrs. F._ I don't think that _can_ be the real reason.

_Two English House-maids_ (_to a small German Page-Boy who is
escorting them_). Here, JOHNNIE, what's _this_ mean? (_Reads from
Catalogue the motto on an Executioner's Sword._) "Di Herrin' sturin
dem Unheel ick exequire ir End Urthile." Come, _you_ ought to know!

_Johnnie_ (_not unnaturally at a loss_). It means--it means--somding I
do not understandt.

_The Housemaids_ (_disappointed in him_). Well, you _are_ a boy! I
_did_ think, bein' German yourself, you'd be quite at _'ome_ 'ere!

_Mr. Ernest Stodgely_ (_impressively, to Miss FEATHERHEAD, his
fiancee_). Just look at this, FLOSSIE. (_Reading._) "Executioner's
Cloak, very long, of red woollen material; presumably red so as not to
show blood-spots or stains." Hideously suggestive that, is it not?

_Miss Flossie._ I shouldn't call it exactly _hideous_, ERNEST. Do
you know, I was just thinking that, with a high Astrachan collar, you
know, and old silver fastenings, it would make rather a nice winter
cloak. So deliciously warm! [_ERNEST avails himself of a lover's
privileges to lecture her severely._

IN FRONT OF THE IRON MAIDEN.

_Mr. Ch. Goole._ So _this_ is the Iron Maiden! Well, I expected
something rather more dreadful-looking. The face has really quite a
pleasant expression. [_Disappointedly._

[Illustration: "Oh, but I think that makes it so much _more_ horrible,
don't you?"]

_Mrs. Ch. G._ (_with subtler appreciation_). Oh, but I think that
makes it so much _more_ horrible, don't _you_?

_Mr. Ch. G._ Well, I don't know--perhaps. But there ought to be a
wax figure inside it. They ought to have wax figures on most of these
things--make it much more interesting!

_Mr. Frivell_ (_who is close by_). I quite agree with you,
Sir--indeed, I would go farther. I think there should be competent
persons engaged to provide practical illustration