structed for foreign
travel are now fitted with these useful and picturesque articles.
The "cow" is used for two purposes. If you are lucky enough to be
appointed scorer for your side you mark the score on the handle in
such a way as to be indecipherable by everyone but yourself. This
prevents disputes with regard to the accuracy of your arithmetic.
You also use it to sweep the ice in front of a friendly stone which
appears likely to give up prematurely from exhaustion. Sweeping is
carried out under the direction of your captain, and the process is
known in the vernacular as "sooping 'er oop." You are not allowed
to retard the progress of a stone, friendly or otherwise, by
intentionally sweeping obstructions into its path. To discard a
portion of your "cow" in front of a rapidly advancing stone is
actionable.

Over-enthusiasm in "sooping 'er 'oop" should be avoided. Ice is
proverbially slippery, and if you fall on to a friendly stone from
excess of energy or from debility, your side is "huffed" that stone.
This is a serious matter, and even if you are able to continue the
game you are looked on with disfavour by your friends.

The object of the game is to get your stone as near as possible to the
centre of the circle at the other end of the rink. With this object
you stand on the piece of tin or "crampit" before referred to, grasp
the stone firmly by the handle and hurl it along the ice. It is almost
essential to let go the stone at the right moment, otherwise it will
hurl you. The game is almost identical with the commoner game of
"bowls," except for the language, which is worse. The term "wood"
is inappropriate and must be avoided, as the use of it may lay you
under a charge of ignorance or flippancy, which you will find almost
impossible to live down.

I will conclude with a few hints to novices. Preserve a cool head
and steady eye. Whilst you are playing your shot your captain will be
dancing about in the circle at the other end of the ice. You will find
it best to disregard his maniacal shoutings and gesticulations. You
will probably not understand half of them and will not agree with the
other half. If he should break a blood-vessel do not take any notice
unless some part of his fallen body is likely to obstruct your stone.
In this case you are entitled to have him moved.

If, after you have played, cries of "hog" or "wobbler" arise, remember
that you are engaged in a sport and not in politics and that there