d letters. Indeed, the
postman had no alternative but to share the letters equally between the
two. "This is intolerable, sir," said our friend, "and you must quit."
"Why am I to quit more than you?" "Because you are James the Second--and
must _abdicate_."

Mr. Bentley proposed to establish a periodical publication, to be called
_The Wit's Miscellany_. Smith objected that the title promised too much.
Shortly afterwards, the publisher came to tell him that he had profited
by the hint, and resolved on calling it _Bentley's Miscellany_. "Isn't
that going a little too far the other way?" was the remark.

A capital pun has been very generally attributed to him. An actor, named
Priest, was playing at one of the principal theatres. Some one remarked
at the Garrick Club, that there were a great many men in the pit.
"Probably, clerks who have taken Priest's orders." The pun is perfect,
but the real proprietor is Mr. Poole, one of the best punsters as well
as one of the cleverest comic writers and finest satirists of the day.
It has also been attributed to Charles Lamb.

Formerly, it was customary, on emergencies, for the judges to swear
affidavits at their dwelling-houses. Smith was desired by his father to
attend a judge's chambers for that purpose, but being engaged to dine in
Russell-square, at the next house to Mr. Justice Holroyd's, he thought
he might as well save himself the disagreeable necessity of leaving the
party at eight by dispatching his business at once: so, a few minutes
before six, he boldly knocked at the judge's, and requested to speak
to him on particular business. The judge was at dinner, but came down
without delay, swore the affidavit, and then gravely asked what was the
pressing necessity that induced our friend to disturb him at that hour.
As Smith told the story, he raked his invention for a lie, but finding
none fit for the purpose, he blurted out the truth:--

"'The fact is, my lord, I am engaged to dine at the next
house--and--and----'

"'And, sir, you thought you might as well save your own dinner by
spoiling mine?'

"'Exactly so, my lord, but----'

"'Sir, I wish you a good evening.'"

Smith was rather fond of a joke on his own branch of the profession;
he always gave a peculiar emphasis to the line in his song on the
contradiction of names:

"Mr. Makepeace was bred an attorney;"

and would frequently quote Goldsmith's lines on Hickey, the associate
of Burk