before me like a doll or the like. "I don't get--"

"Sssh!" she whispers. "That's probably Ruth Hopper and her husband.
She's trying to get him to quit playing pinochle all night and she
wants to show him what a ideal husband does."

"A pinochle fiend, hey?" I says. "Well, lead him on! We got a little
game down at the corner and he'll just make up the set. It's gettin'
around time for me to leave anyways. I been in a half hour now and--"

Well, at that moment our charmin' maid leads in no less than Alex and
his wife Eve. Speakin' of good lookers, this dame would make Morgan
forget about Wall Street, and she's wearin' a dress that must of put
some Fifth Avenue store over. But the wife begins bein' pleasant to
gaze upon and a delight to the naked eye where Eve leaves off. Why,
she's got a movie contract which she holds over my head every time I
stay out till ten o'clock and the like. Them two dames in the one room
is more than the average guy can stand and how they ever come to fall
for a coupla guys like me and Alex is a subject for bigger brains than
mine. They say women is peculiar, hey? Well, it's a good thing for
the average guy that they are!

"Well!" remarks Eve, lookin' from me to the wife. "How perfectly
sweet! If you two only knew what a pretty picture you make!"

[Illustration: "How perfectly sweet! If you two only knew what pretty
picture you make!"]

"Yeh," I says, gettin' up and dumpin' the near sweater on the table.
"You'd almost think we wasn't married, hey?"

"Speaking of pictures," says the wife, allowin' Alex to kiss her--a
thing I loathe, "let's all go down and see 'Wronged By Mistake.' They
tell me--"

"Nothin' stirrin'," I butts in. "I wanna see Beryldine Nearer in 'The
Woman Which Lost.' She's some dame, believe me! If I was the leadin'
man in her pictures I'd work for nothin'."

"Is that so?" says the wife, her voice as cold as Cape Nome. "Why
didn't you marry her then instead of me?"

"She didn't ask me till it was too late," I says, grinnin' like a wolf.

"Here, here!" says Alex. "How is it you people is always quarrelin'
every time I come here for a visit?"

"We figure you'll get sore and beat it," I says.

"Now, boys," says Eve, "let's forget we are all one family and be
friends. Why aren't you folks out celebratin' peace to-night?"

"We wasn't invited," I says. "And I have bought my last ticket from a
speculator."

"Invited?" says Eve, which always take