snarls,
"or somebody'll get two billiard balls and play with it for a set.
Take your hands off me and listen. That bill is as good as the inside
of a church. C'mon into this store and I'll prove it!"

They's somethin' about Alex that makes this guy hesitate, and Alex
pulls him into a cigar store, whilst I shoo away the disappointed crowd
which looked for manslaughter at least.

In a minute they come out. The big guy has twenty single bills in his
hand and a dazed look on his face. Alex is grinnin'.

"Now are you satisfied?" says Alex.

The big guy shoves the dough in his overalls.

"The sugar seems O.K.," he says. "Say! I gotta work a week for that
much dough, so I might as well give you five minutes of my time.
What's the idea, hey?"

"Now, Delancey Calhoun," says Alex, "how would you--"

"Wait a minute!" grins the other guy. "I knowed they was a ball up
somewheres. Where d'ye get that Calhoun stuff? My name's Tim O'Toole."

"Not no more!" says Alex, returnin' the grin. "From now on it's
Delancey Calhoun--get that?"

"A nut is a funny thing," says O'Toole, pressin' the dough in his
pocket. "But--sure, I'm Delancey Calhoun! That's a swell name at
that--it sounds like a Lenox Avenue apartment house. What d'ye want me
to do, outside of that?"

"How would you like to be a actor?" says Alex.

"Nothin' doin'!" says Delancey. "I got a steady job and I'm too fond
of eatin'."

"Don't be a fool!" says Alex. "That stuff about actors not eatin'
regular is a thing of the past. These days a actor makes more money
than a banker. Did you ever appear on the stage anywheres in your
life?"

"I did not!" snarls Delancey. "And I can lick the guy which claims I
did!"

"Fine!" says Alex, lookin' at me. "Now of course you've seen movin'
pictures, hey?"

"Sure!" says Delancey. "What d'ye think I am--ig'rant?"

"Not at all," says Alex. "Do you think if you had a chance and was
well paid for it, you could do the things them heroes does in the
movies?"

Delancey Calhoun, nee Tim O'Toole, throws out his chest from here to
South Dakota.

"Do I _think_ so?" he says. "Why, say, pal--that stuff would be soft
for me! I ain't no second Mary Pickford or the like and Chaplin might
grab off more laughs to the reel than me, but when it come to this here
cowboy and full dress stuff--Oh, lady!!!"

"You're hired!" hollers Alex, slappin' him on the back. "Startin'
right now your salary is a hundred a week. Dr